Archive for April 8, 2007

Of Needs and Wants: Discovering Your Achievement And Excellence

April 8, 2007

People often ask me, “Wekie, why the need to do this? Why can’t I do what I want?”

My reply is often, “Do you want to achieve this? If you really want to accomplish this particular goal, do you need to do this? Do you then still want to achieve this?”

From my point of view, in a layman’s term, a need is something that must be done no matter what, irregardless of whether you like doing it or not. If it needs to be done, it needs to be done. No questions asked, no complaints filed, no whinning about it. Emotions free.

On the other hand, a want is something that you put emotional preference into, meaning you like to do it or like to have it. If you love it passionately and completely, better still. If you dedicate your whole life, heart and soul into it, kudos to you.

Please note that both are taken with respect to your chosen goals and aims, hence the context can change.

Therefore, the Structure of Action and Achievement is:

Want —> Need —> Want —> Need

Translated into questions, they become:

1) What do you want to accomplish?

2) What do you need to do in order to accomplish this?

3) Do you want to make it better? In what way?

4) What do you need to do to make it better?

If this structure is applied consistently, the results of achievement and success becomes immensely fast and effective.

Hence, starting the Loop of Achievement:

“A success begets another success. Another success begets a greater success.”

You attain excellence and you go beyond that, consistently excelling more than before, faster than previous, better than ever.

Now you know why I call this site “Excel Beyond Excellence“.

It’s Going To Get Worse…

April 8, 2007

In many things we learn, we have to go through a certain cycle.  Its called the J-curve. Things get worse immediately after you attempt to implement what you learn.

Because of the lack of understanding and new information, you initially experience frustrations and ‘failures’, and that can be infruitating sometimes.

However, after sometime of internal consolidation with your learning mind, things around starts to get better. This occurs as a result of your increased competency and applied knowledge. You will see that things improve over a period of time as they eventually hit a steep slope of accelerated results, making success sooner than before.

Yet its truly a pity that some do not see that its going to get better and chose to give up before that. As a result, a lot of people do not get to fully manifest the J-curve potential.

Most people want that instant result, that holy grail formula that produces immediate change. It might happen, but that would still be a J-curve, just a much sharper, steeper one.

Even with learning, you need to go through the slight discomfort of learning new unfamiliar terminologies, having your current beliefs and paradigms challenged before you receive the new dawn of understanding and enlightment.

Let me share with you a common example. Jack would like start a certain food business. He got ready all the things he needed: a business plan, a retail outlet, marketing brouchures, capital and budget, logistics, food ingredients, etc.

Very soon, he noted that he had to put in a lot of effort, time and money into it. He spent sleepless night to solve the multiple problems that occurs in the business. Before he could cover his costs and breakeven, his wife was already quarreling with him on his late nights of abscence, while his second child was on the way, due at the end of the year. Meanwhile, his outlet did not seemed to be making money.

Deep in his heart, he was considering closing shop and had started looking through the newspapers for his next job…

Another example occurs with people who need to do public speaking. May needed to do lots of presentations at work. Internally, she had a fear of speaking to a large crowd. Now this is a common issue that many people have to overcome as public speakers.

She crafted her speeches and practiced them dilligently. Yet everytime May stood on the stage, her memory and mind seemed to leave her, panic and anxiety possessed her. In fact, there was once where she was so stunned and awed in front of the audience that nothing came out of her mouth. She had to quickly excuse herself and left the stage in a frantic. She secertly swore that she will not put herself to such shame again.

When we started the coaching and consultation, she was repulsive to public speaking and rebutted the need to communcate on stage. Jack, on the other hand, was living on his savings to feed his expanding family and tried to keep in touch with a few potential employers, just in case… He was on the verge of giving up his dream of having an eatery.

After sharing with them the J-curve concept, both understood the need to persist on and we worked on several issues together. Jack revamped his business model, improved on marketing tools and is now receiving substantial regular profits. He is currently expanding his outlets.

Emerging from the lower points of J-curve, May now commands a high income and commission on her presentations with the company and external clients. She is often scheduled to speak at her company’s meeting and finds great joy in what she is doing.

My friends, what people really need to understand is that “It’s going to get worse, before it’s going to get better.”

Hence the courage is to first go through the worst part and have the wisdom to know when it will be over.

Which part of the J-curve are you at now?

The Art of Clear Communication

April 8, 2007

In the midst of your communication with someone or the audience, some of the meanings are intended by you while many others can easily be misconstruded or misunderstood.

A raising of voice could be interpreted as an excitment or a rude attitude.

If you answer quickly to a topic, your receiver may get the idea that either you are well prepared or you may be too hasty in your reply.

On the other hand, a slow deliberate answer might be seen as you are unsure of the knowledge or you are a precise person.

It is just that complicated in communication.

Think of the last time where a well intended remark was seen as a sarcasm or insult. A serious comment was being laughed at on stage. Or even a moment of non-response is interpreted by your other half as a lack of concerned for him/her.

How then do you ensure that your message is delivered as clearly as possible? Here are some pointers to improve the art of communication:

1) Ensure you know your message well.

2) Be confident in your delivery and speech.

3) Project congruence in your speech techniques and dynamics.

4) Make it easy and simple for your audience to get your message.

5) Get your audience to respond and check back with them that they got what you meant.

6) Practice communicating clearly and correctly as often as possible.

While miscommunication and misunderstand do happen from time to time, it is still a responsibility of both parties to continuously work towards better communication and relations.

Get what I mean?

The Truth About Communication

April 8, 2007

Every action you do, every vocal you use or every word you say carry certain meanings to your receiver and audience, no matter you are on stage or speaking face-to-face. They are all interpreted within their minds in accordance to what they have been brought up to believe.

Hence the truth about communication is this:

You Cannot Not Communicate!

No matter how you want to avoid communicating, you are unable to. Even not reacting or responding can imply something to the receiver.
Since there is no way you can don’t communicate, then the key is not whether you communicate, but rather how do you communicate in a way that is purposeful and meaningful.