Archive for October 7, 2007

How You Can Speak With Confidence? 10 Proven Ways To Take Your Speaking Skills Higher Than Ever!

October 7, 2007

I’ve always enjoyed sharing about confidence. It’s such a simple concept yet so difficult to apply. (from what the audience shared, at least) It’s especially more so when applied to public speaking. Many people do comment that the image of possible humiliation by the audience do “bug” them. Others are simply at a loss for words to describe that lack of confidence.

Yesterday at my talk, we addressed that issue. “How to Speak With Confidence?” turned out to be fun (and I mean extremely) and very interactive. The audience went crazy and they cheered for the speakers like they were superstars!

The lack of confidence is really an issue of focus. Whenever people “suffer” from a lack of confidence, it’s because they have been focusing things like:

How do I say?

What do I say next?

Will the audience laugh at me?

What if I fail?

How will they look at me?

Where I am going my face?

How am I going to face others in future?

All these are not really questions of resources; they are mere Expressions of Incompetency under the guise of questions. Questions of Resources MOVE you FORWARD, not stifle you with worse outcomes.

On top of this, it’s the past Patterns of Negative Habits at work. These patterns are results of negative culture, behaviors and observations of others. Hence, the mind goes into a vicious Cycle of Beliefs. One major cycle of beliefs is as follows:

”I’ve seen lousy speakers à the audience were bored à the audience insulted the speaker à the speaker was humiliated à he is lousy à therefore if I speak, the same will happen à it has happened before so it will happen again à the audience will be bored à they will humiliate me à I will be hurt à I don’t want to be hurt à I don’t want to hurt forever à since I am so lousy therefore I shall not speak à why? Because I have seen lousy speakers à (Back to the beginning of the cycle)”

As the cycle goes on, the Beliefs will be come more solidified and reinforced in the mind as The Truth. The Cycle of Beliefs will thus be practiced as Cycle of Behaviors. And over time, it becomes a Cycle of Habit.

All these are results of a person going Down-time, meaning they focus way too much on themselves that their internal dialogue. A more useful way is to be Up-time, where you should focus more on the external and surround elements.

 Hence, in order to truly speak with confidence, you can apply the following points:

1. Break the pattern of negative habits.

2. Focus on your audience, not what they think of you.

3. Focus on your message for your audience.

4. Focus on the higher values for your audience.

5. Understand that the speech it’s for your audience, not you.

6. Speak for your audience, it’s not you. Craft your speech to their listening ears and curious sight.

7. Establish your credibility.

8. Earn their respect.

9. Shape their mind and hearts when you’ve got credibility and earn their respect.

10. Inspire them to the higher purpose.

Public speaking with confidence is a continuous path of learning and growing. Work on the points by applying them in your next speech. Take yourself further as you excel beyond excellence!

8 Lessons On The Emotions Of Selling To Help You Sell Easily

October 7, 2007

On the same Friday evening, after I had completed my day-time negotiation training, I was rushing to another venue. It was about 40 minutes before my next session begins. This time, my talk and training was on “Dynamic Selling Skills”.

As what I usually tell my participants, selling is like a brother or sister (depending on your gender preference) to negotiation. Both go hand in hand and have common areas. Yet, they feature their own procedure and strategies. You will be much more empowered when you have one to compliment with the other.

In the room-packed dynamic selling session, we had demonstrations of the process of selling and I showed them how they could artfully fit into what their clients want with ease. It was definitely educational and empowering. The training was also uplifting as participants took to the exercises and activities. Those were the keys to make selling simple, yet effective.

To set the stage right, I shared with the participants to sell easily, they must (emotionally) understand that selling comes from the heart first.

I shared with them some of the lesson on the emotions of selling. These lessons are meant to help them sell easily:

1.) It’s not about what you know, it’s about who you trust.

2.) It’s not just about who you trust, it’s also about who you like.

3.) It’s not only about who you trust and like, it’s about what you ultimately feel in your heart.

4.) Selling is also about what you stand for emotionally.

5.) It’s not merely what you stand for, it’s about how do you fit into what your clients stand for emotionally.

6.) When what you stand for fit into what they stand for emotionally, and they like you, trusting you in the process, you’ve got an open mind who will take in whatever you suggest or recommend.

7.) In selling, you want to suggest, recommend and share, instead of just pushing your products and services. Why? Simple. Because no one feels good about it.

8.) Ultimately, selling easily and effectively requires you to emotionally connect with your clients in all levels. And make them feel positive about it.

The next time you meet up with your client, strive to connect on the emotionally level first. Use the points and lessons above to move the selling process step-by-step.

You will find that selling becomes more of an ease than a chore. With practice, you will evolve to become a seller who excels beyond excellence.

How To Absolutely Minimize Your Risk When You Use Negotiation Tactics?

October 7, 2007

Negotiation is really a game of wits and composure. Advantage goes to the side that is more prepared and ready to handle the invisible and the inevitable. That’s why when we embark unto the study of negotiation tactics, we stay vigilant and take heed of the risk that follows.

Two days ago, on Friday, I completed the course on “Effective Negotiation Skills”. I loved it! It was fun as always!  😀

This class was an additional run as the original negotiation class was already fully signed up. I could not take in any more participants in the previous run. Therefore I had to open up a couple more classes to meet with the demand for this course of mine.

As with each class, the dynamics are different because the participants have changed. Hence personalities changed. The jokes are new, the laughter occurred at different triggering moments.

However, the message remained the same when it comes to the segment on negotiation tactics: The risk.

Please understand that for every single tactics used, there is always a risk:

a) the risk of being found out

b) the risk of backfiring

c) the risk of the loophole or the gap

d) the risk of worsening

Hence, we must be able to take the following steps in reducing such risk as much as possible:

1.) Get yourself mentally prepared as much as you can. Confidence here is crucial especially in moments before you step into the negotiation room.

2.) Plan for what you know and plan for what you don’t know. You can never discount the merits of planning. And when I say planning, I do mean Plan A, Plan B, Plan C, and others.

3.) Check against your own ethics, principles, values and beliefs (EPVB) whenever you want to use any of the tactics. If the tactics is against them, don’t use it.

Psychologically speaking, should any tactics used be in conflict or disagreement with your own EPVB, you will be unable to use them to its full effect. In addition, there is the risk of the loophole to deal with. Being in conflict within, your body does not allow you to fully convince the other party. Hence a more experienced and eagle-eyed negotiator will be able to detect such loopholes.

4.) Get a fellow negotiator to back you up emotionally. Pep talks are also important and extremely useful. The importance of psyching yourself up before the meeting is not to be discounted. Have your friend use positive words to keep your perspective in the motivated realm.

5.)  Find a balance between eagerness and calmness. Too eager a negotiator will open up too many loopholes while being too calm depicts the lack of emotional connect with the other party. Balance and timing of it is utmost essential.

6.) Train yourself to think fast under pressure. Negotiation is an extremely dynamic game. It changes course when you least know it. You must therefore act accordingly and switch your language when needed.

7.) Watch out for the triggering point, the tipping point and the balance of power (Trig, Tip, Balance) during negotiation. Quickly decide if the tipping scale is more in your flavor, in their favor or a middle point for both parties. Be ready to change tactics at that instance if you have to.

8.)  Never take the results too seriously. Whatever the outcome, you are there to do a job. And it’s job. Never let the “goodness” or “badness” of the negotiation affect your personal life. Remember you have a life. Realize that you must move on no matter what. Learn from it and add the lesson to your negotiation arsenal in readiness of your next negotiation meeting.

9.) Get experience in negotiation. Experience helps you to sharpen your thoughts and understand the different personalities as well as various settings. On the other hand, never let experience stifle you nor stop you from being tactically creative on your next round.

10.)  Work with a negotiation mentor to improve. If you don’t have, get one. It’ll shorten the learning curve so much and you have so much more to benefit from your mentor’s guidance.

Run through the sequence with your mentor after the negotiation. An experienced negotiator will be able to pinpoint to you the possible gaps or loopholes of the negotiation. He or she will also highlight to you where did the shifting of power occur during the process. Take your mentor’s advice where possible and apply it.

Learn fervently from the trainings you have received. Maximize your learning to minimize your risk. In this way, you will excel as a negotiator. Make yourself THE Negotiator, the one who always excel beyond excellence!