So You Want To Be Happy? Here’s How To Take Charge Of Your Happiness.

It was just two nights ago when I was the Language Evaluator at one of the clubs I am mentoring. At the Nee Soon East Toastmasters meeting, Eddy Suwandy made a passionate presentation about our happiness. As a new Toastmaster, his speech was filled with easy to learn tips and the infectious eagerness to share. I know he will be a very competent speaker in no time. So here I bring to you, with Eddy’s blessings, his inspiring speech on happiness and how to take charge of it.

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Take Charge of Your Happiness

First, let me ask you a question, do you want to be happy?

Do you want to have a happy and happier life?

I bet most of you will say “YES”. Of course, all of us want to be happy. But, are you happy now? Do you have a happy life everyday? Do you feel joy every time?

Now, the answer might be “NO”. Our life is full of ups and down, happiness and sadness. 

So, today, I will share with you, how to be happy as much as possible in your life, how to have a real happiness in your life.

The key to a real and constant happiness is that you have to take charge of your own happiness. Yes, you have to start from decide that you want to be happy, that you deserve a happy and great life. Then, you have to plan to be happy. So, how to do all of this things?

Well, there are 4 easy steps we can do right now to take charge of our happiness.

1. List down all the things that will give or create happiness in you

The first thing you have to do is to prepare a paper and a pen, then list down everything that can give you joy or happiness. One may be happy when he plays basketball while others might feel suffer when play it. So, things that can create happiness are subjective to the respective people. That is why; you have to find out, what really give you happiness. Ask yourself, “What things if I do, will give me tremendous happiness” or “When I feel extremely happy? What am I doing that time?” Just write as much as possible.

2. Divide them into 2 groups.

The next thing is to examine the list one by one, whether it is something that under your control or outside your control. Things like race, who is the president, geography factor is grouped under “outside my control”. Things like mountaineering, cycling, running, reading is grouped “under my control”.

Then, you might want to throw your ”outside my control” list away, and focus on the “inside my control” only. This is because, no matter what we do, we can’t change what is outside our control, so why waste time to bother about it.

3. Rank them.

Next step, you look at the list one by one. Evaluate them. Examine whether it is easy to do, can be repeated anytime, fully under your control, how realistic it is and how much it gives you happiness.  You can rank and give score 1-10 for each item in your list.  If one of the items is: “I will be happy if I can have a romantic date with Angelina Jolie”. Well, that might be able to give you happiness, but it is hard to do nor realistic” For such thing, you can give score: 1, and so forth.

4. Test them.

After you rank them, take the top 3 of your list and test it. See whether it really works or not. If it really works, then you can take it as your “tools to be happy” and use it everyday as much as possible or when you want to be happy. Oh, don’t throw the rest of your list. You might want to use the others next time, because as the time goes, you also change and what give you the most happiness might change. Lastly, don’t forget to re-evaluate your list regularly. We are constantly changing, so our list should be constantly be upgraded as well.

For me personally, my top 3 items are to smile to other people and myself at the mirror, enjoy the beauty of nature and sing in a closed room. All of them are easy to use tools, yet give tremendous effect. 

Lastly, remember that only you yourself can make you happy. Other people can only influence you and in the end, it is totally you who decide whether to be happy or to be sad. Thus, find the true and real happiness that is already there for you. No need to look outside, but instead, find it inside, inside your heart. Then, share your happiness with others in order to intensify your happiness.

Now, have you write down your list? If not, please spare sometime now and write it.

May you find the real happiness and may you be happy.

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Explore posts in the same categories: Excel Beyond Excellence, Living Life, Perspectives, Reflection and Thoughts, Work-Life Balance

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