Archive for August 2008

The 15 Proven ‘S’ Ways Of Managing And Improving Your Work Relationships

August 31, 2008

So long as you work, you will forge relationships. And relationships have to be there or nothing gets done. Yet work relationships must be tactfully handled or it may run out of control. Negative relationships tend to escalate much faster than whatever is positive.

A significant amount of my training, coaching and counseling involve helping the business owners, executives and the individuals to better their relationships at their workplace. The quality of such relationships is an outstanding factor in determining one’s happiness at work. Hence, meticulous attention ought to be paid and ongoing efforts must be made in order to seek enhancement.

Here, in no particular order of importance, are 15 of the proven ways to manage and improve your relationships at work. (Incidentally, all of them begin with a ‘S’ so they are called the ‘S’ ways):

1. Seek clarification on duties and tasks.

2. Stop playing the blame game.

3. Share the responsibilities reasonably.

4. Strengthen your emotions.

5. Socialize productively with colleagues.

6. Smile often to others.

7. Start your day positively and motivated.

8. Simplify the complicated process.

9. Sort out issues, conflicts and differences as soon as you can.

10. Speak clearly and diplomatically to be understood.

11. Shut up and listen when necessary.

12. Self-evaluate your behavior through personal reflection times.

13. Sense the mood of others and the atmosphere to act sensitively.

14. Show appreciation to your bosses, colleagues and customers.

15. Strive for overall improvement always.

Whenever you implement any or more of these ‘S’ ways artfully, you are providing an opportunity for advancement of your work relationships. This will surely take you further, towards Excelling Beyond Excellence!

How You Can Step Up To Life’s Changes And Challenges

August 29, 2008

I was with the training group just two days ago, completing the final module for the 2.5 days “Step Up for Change” training. It’s a government initiated nation-wide empowerment training for women in Singapore, helping them to step out of the comfort zone, step up to challenges and step forward to meet life’s changes confidently.

What I dearly liked about the training was the interactively and the sharing of the female participants on issues faced by women in Singapore. Truly there are challenges waiting to be addressed. It hence became evident that the participants had recommitted to work and improve their lives better with the steps they had created.

And to follow on, here are more ways you can help yourself step up to life’s changes and face the challenges:

1. Be willing to change your paradigm.

2. Work on your confidence.

3. Be informed of changes.

4. Manage your finances and resources.

5. Enlist help and seek expert advice.

6. Make positive acquaintances and network.

7. Review your plans regularly for improvement.

I sincerely wish every one of the participants the very best in their lives and may they always Excel Beyond Excellence!

5 Things You Can Do in Communication To Be Even Closer With Him Or Her

August 28, 2008

What a roaring great time we had just two nights ago! I was speaking at a lecture theatre in the National University of Singapore and the audiences were phenomenal. They participated actively and laughed heartily. It was definitely a wonderful time of sharing.

This special seminar, “Communication Between Men and Women” explores the art of ‘He says, she says’. It is designed to shed insights onto why do men and women communicate and think so differently as well as to highlight on how both genders can relate better with each other.

Here are what you can do so to be closer than before with him or her:

1. Understand and appreciate the interests displayed through the words of the opposite gender.

2. Know when to keep quiet and listen.

3. Use reflective listening to validate and acknowledge what is being said.

4. Maintain sincere eye contact when communicating with him or her.

5. Share a brief summary of what you heard from the other person.

The 3 Common Myths Of Your Networking And The Truths Behind Them

August 27, 2008

We had a wonderful networking time yesterday at the 2 day training session. I was glad in this training “Network Your way To Success”, my participants could literally apply instantly what they have learnt.

To further address what networking is about, here are some common myths of networking and the actual truth that you can use to your advantage.

1. Myth: Networking is just talking.

Truth: You convey a part of your personality too.

2. Myth: networking is giving out your namecards to as many people as you can.

Truth: Quality networking means that your namecard has a significant value to the one who receives it.

3. Myth: Effective networking means you must know a large number of people; hence you have a wide network.

Truth: You can also network effectively by having much less number of people but developing much deeper relationships with the few right people.

Discover The Dynamics Behind Your Win-Win Negotiations

August 25, 2008

It was just two days ago on Saturday where I competed conducting the customized training on “Effective Negotiation Skills” for a corporate client. The managers, who were the key participants, took an active role in applying the concepts taught. In the midst of it, plenty of jokes and fun abound.

Within any interaction, there are different forms of dynamics to be found. Negotiation situations present another form of dynamics because you aim to strike a deal where both parties can win.

Some of the key dynamics include:

1. You must speak and craft your words in a way that appeals to the other party. Hence selection of words and mannerisms are crucial.

2. You must pay attention to the flow of the conversation because it can truly change gears at any time.

3. You must be most mentally prepared because negotiation taxes and challenges your mind.

4. You must be able to be creative enough to propose that balancing point where both will win.

5. You must be aware of the quality of relationship, trust and credibility between both parties.

The 3 Trigger Keys Of Relationships: What Makes You Want That Person Romantically?

August 22, 2008

Yesterday I had a couple of coaching sessions, one was a public speaking coaching while the other that followed was an individualized relationship coaching. In that particular period of working on the client’s attraction factor, I discussed on what makes a person want someone romantically.

It was a rather in-depth session where lots of ideas and improvement were made for the client. I’m definitely glad that the client was happy with the clear series of next steps to take. It will surely improve one’s life for the better.

Hence, what triggers you to want to be in a relationship with a particular person? They are:

1. Your feelings toward that person.

2. Your idea of the future prospects of being with that person.

3. The values displayed by that person that synergize with yours. (Please note: it does NOT mean that both your values must match or must be compatible.) It just means how the values of that person can play a part in your own values. And they come in 2 forms: Conscious Values and Unconscious/Subliminal Values.

3 Artful Ways To Add Humor And Laughter Into Your Speeches

August 21, 2008

Back at my other Club tonight was another meaningful meeting. I was definitely glad to be the Language Evaluator at Telok Blangah Toastmasters Club tonight.

In addition, I got to listen to an advanced speech and a speech about organization. Incidentally, both speeches centered about humor and laughter.

There are quite a number of places to include humor into whatever you are presenting. Here are 3 of the artful ways:

1. Check out for where you insert your punch line, especially in between paragraphs. Test them out for different punch lines will create different impact.

2. Note the high point of your speech and work some simple exaggeration into it.

3. Discover where the surprise of your speech is and follow it up with a one-two punch line.

Proven Tips To Boost Your Public Speaking And Presentation Skills (Part 30)

August 20, 2008

There comes a time where every Toastmasters Club must have recruitment for its members so as to sustain its growth. And last night was my Club’s demonstration meeting; a display to the student population on how Toastmasters can help them improve their communication and leadership skills. It was thus NUS Toastmasters Club’s recruitment campaign.

In the midst of the program, we had 2 project speeches to showcase how, as a Toastmaster, one can present their speeches and receive evaluations for improvement. This will enable the attendees to better comprehend and appreciate the proven system of Toastmasters. I was glad those who turned up last night had a much better understanding of what we do in a meeting and got their questions answered.

The showcase speeches were also helpful in demonstrating how different aspects of speeches needed attention. Some of the areas for improvement were as follows:

1. Avoid being distracted by the timing device; stay on your intended track of speech.

2. In presenting a structured organization, watch how you use your transitions and your connections between the pointers. You want to ensure that they keep to a coherent flow.

3. Experience the emotions within yourself first so that your vocals can be further marked with variety.

5 Key Principles Of Reframing Problems

August 18, 2008

It was amazing today with whatever we’ve shared. I conducted 2 runs of trainings back-to-back within one day, all with full number of participants. It was most enriching and the pace was exhilarating.

I’ve designed this training, Reframing Problems into Opportunities, specifically as a means to assist people to see their world or ‘problems’ differently, gaining new insights and opportunities in the process. The process is purposefully created to empower the individuals to perceive things in a more productive and purposeful manner as well as improve their skills to better guide others in their lives.

Here are some of the key principles that affect how we can reframe problems:

Principle of Subjective Reality: We don’t know reality. We only perceive our own subjective versions in our mind.

Principle of Self Empowerment: You must be able to see beyond first before you can help others to see further.

Principle of Rapport: You must gain and maintain rapport, trust and credibility in order to reframe the problem in others.

Principle of Limited Perception: This limitation causes mere situations to be viewed as problems because people are unable to perceive beyond.

Principle of Inherent Assumption: The assumptions within us create plenty of misunderstandings and relationship issues, leading to an escalation of problems. A vicious cycle of problem is hence formed.

What Sales And Negotiation Are Not…

August 17, 2008

Yesterday was Day One of the Effective Negotiation Skills training. Although the full day training was being held on a Saturday, I was pleased that the participants were enthusiastic with the training and understood the importance of negotiation in their work and daily lives.

All of them, who were managers of the same company, took an active role in making the learning in-depth, interactive and introspective. They had also added to the fun behind the teachings and the joy of training. This is definitely most admirable. While Day Two of this training is one week away, I trust that they will practice as much as possible wat they have learnt thus far during this whole week of work.

A part of the initial training deals with taking on a more useful understanding and paradigm of sales and negotiation. I often help the participants to better comprehend and appreciate the real nature of these important skills and their true meanings within

Hence here are some points on what sales and negotiation are not:

1. It’s not just about getting what you want, it’s about first helping your clients or other party to get what they want.

2. It’s not just about price, it’s also about the other intangibles within the deals.

3. It’s not just about facts and numbers, it’s about the way you present them.

4. It’s not just about talking, it’s your personality, your impression and your presentation skills that count.

5. It’s not just a mere listing of items, it’s really about the negotiation strategies and tactics within that play a big part of your success.

When you begin to experience a shift in the paradigm regarding sales and negotiation, you will begin to notice how sales and negotiation can be much easier and effective. In this way, your success level in selling and negotiating will Excel Beyond Excellence!