Archive for the ‘Accelerated Attraction’ category

The 6 Levels Of ‘Uniqueness’ In Your Relationship: What Your Partner And You Must Not Do Without

October 9, 2007

Had a massively, humongous “WOW!” time at tonight’s seminar. I had been looking forward to this night when I conduct the training on “Communication Between Men and Women: Exploring the Fine Art of “He Says, She Says”.

At the packed seminar, I loved it when the crowd went crazy with their willingness to participate, to share and to have fun. I also am glad that the tongue-in-cheek humor and running gags were reciprocated with hilarious hearty laughs. It was a smooth sailing educational and entertaining event. That’s what I call “Edutainment” !

To the organizers, you have done extremely well to bring this event to the National University of Singapore (NUS) students. And to the participants, all of you deserve more OOOooooo Yeah! and Cheers for being so willing to learn and improve yourself. Thanks very much for being present.

In the seminar, I did mention about the concept of uniqueness in a relationship, especially that special relationship. It carries a certain weight in the hearts and minds of the couple. Hence, what does it really mean to have real uniqueness in your relationships?

In reality, there are 6 levels. They go from the most disconnected of an individual to the merging of two entities as one body:

Level 1: Being able to pick up something unique about that person.

Level 2: Being able to share and relate what is unique about yourself to that person.

Level 3: Being able to engage in dates and activities that are unique to both of you.

Level 4: Being able to live a life that is unique and exclusive to both of you.

Level 5: Being able to derive feelings that are unique, exclusive and only mutual to both of you.

Level 6: Being able to have both of you ultimately merge as ONE ENTITY.

Which level are you at now for whatever relationship you are in? If you are not in it, why not work to prove on the levels?

You must truly work on building the uniqueness of the relationship. It does take some find tuning but both of you must always be willing to communicate better with each other. It is only when both are connected by that uniqueness where both of you can excel beyond excellence as one!

5 Essential Insights To Boost Up Your Relationship And Social Life

October 1, 2007

I was into very in-depth sharing at “What Women Want” yesterday. The participants were eager to learn and discover more of how the other gender think, react and behave. They paid attention and took notes when various insights were revealed.

(And for those who might be curious, this is a private workshop strictly for men only, as opposed to the other one I conducted last week strictly for women only.)

At the end of it, the men walked away with lots of specific strategies and ways to enhance their social life, build better relationships and appreciate the people in their lives.

Hence, one must understanding that when it comes to relationships and social life:

1. It’s truly about being a better man.

2. Every relationship we ever had can make us a better man… if we learn from it.

3. The truth about relationship is often not what we usually think or believe, socially or culturally. So be prepared to be challenged, to discover and to improve. (You will truly be surprised at how the real dynamics of relationships work for you.)

4. You have to let go of the past in order to move towards the future.

5. It’s not about having a perfect relationship, it’s more about having a better relationship than before.

Key Tactics For Attracting People Into Your Life

September 24, 2007

Had several in-depth discussions and sharing at the “What Men Want” workshop yesterday. For those of you who have not heard of the workshop, it’s a relationship and attraction session strictly for ladies only. It was definitely fun as we go about setting specific directions and strategies to improve the ladies’ life.

Upon reflection and further arrangement, here are several key thoughts about attraction:

* When you want to attract a lion, dangle the meat in front of him, not the vegetable.

* Whoever you want to attract in your life, be that person first.

* Be ready to socialize to have a social life.

What Are The 10 Things You Must Do To Successfully Take The First Step To A Wonderful Relationship?

August 31, 2007

Today was another wonderful run of “Communication Between Men and Women: Exploring the Fine Art of He says, She Says” for the corporation. More sharing took place. It’s so much more fun and educational as the participants played an active role in the seminar’s success.

It’s often interesting to note that people are indeed curious about the opposite gender, yet seldom take the steps find out.

That eager moments before the big date saw you panicking and frantically wondering what to say. The inner thoughts start to go haywire and swim around your mind in a haphazard manner. Before long, it’s a series of negative images that keeps telling you, “you won’t impress, you won’t make it. You will fail… like before….”

Scary, isn’t it?

Just think, what if you do take time to find out more about the mysterious gender? What if you discover that the opposite gender is not that secretive after all? What if you know how to approach them or that person in the right and positive manner?

How much more good will it do for you? Lots of goodness, I must say.

In my private coaching and personal consultations with individuals, it is usually this first step that must always be taken and the inner barrier resolved first. The desire to learn more… about the opposite gender

Hence, what must you do then, in order to trod on the path to a wonderful relationship?

#1: You must develop the curiosity about the opposite gender. Cleverly curious, not drooling desperation here.

#2: You must be willing to let go of past paradigms that are ineffective. Here’s a hint, you’ll be surprised how things are not what they seemed to be… if you’re willing to let some of them go. Soon, you’ll discover that it’s not that mysterious.

#3: You must desire knowledge and discoveries about the opposite gender. It does require some studies. Work is needed. Talent is a bonus.

#4: You must notice the specific finer things about him or her that matters. Being hawk-eyed helps! A lot! You can do a lot more to improve relationships if you develop that keen sense of observation powers.

#5: You must be bold yet artful in your approach. Yup, a delicate balance here. A sense of how much is too much will take you a long way. And knowing a few tips to approaching that someone won’t hurt either.

#6: You must be willing to communicate with them. Hello… is a good start. Communication will open up doors for you. Effective communication, that is.

#6: You must be willing to laugh about any blunders that might happen in the course of relationship. So what if it doesn’t turn out the way it is. No big deal. Laugh it off, shrug it off, dust it off!

#7: You must be able to bounce back. Die hard and die harder applies here.

#8: You must stay positive, in personality and in outlook of life. Nobody wants to build a life-long relationship with a negative person who wallows in complains, criticism and grumblings.

#9: Ultimately, it accumulates to this: You must continuously learn and constantly improve yourself as a person. As more gender facts and relationships strategies are unearthed, you must keep upgrading yourself and be a better person. Besides merely learning, this action of yours actually makes you more attractive and appealing then ever.

It’s really your game. Your game to win if you want to. Take the first step. The first step to excel in your relationships. 🙂

How To Overcome Shyness When Talking To People?

August 30, 2007

Had a jolly great time at today’s talk at a major corporation. It was one of my most popular seminars, “Communication Between Men and Women: Exploring the Fine Art of He says, She Says”. I especially enjoyed it when my audience responded with the various cheeky answers that brought bouts of laughter throughout the whole room.

One of the topics I touched on was the shyness factor. Very often, being too shy prevents effective communication and expressions of intended information. It also forms a barrier when you want reach out to others to date certain people or build a relationship.

On the other hand, I am not advocating abrupt boldness, barging into a room full of people and yelling at the top of your voice, “Hey, you! Yes, you cutie. I want to go out with you! Come here!” Although that might work sometimes, I am more for a balance and some awareness of what the situation demands.

Nonetheless, here are some thoughts on how to overcome shyness when talking to people.

1) Know that shyness is actually unnatural. When we were born a baby, we didn’t have a care about our nakedness or do we hide our wants for milk, for attention and affection. Shyness as a trait is acquired in our later growing days. It’s not something we are born with. So we don’t have to shy really, it’s not a natural part of us.

2) Understand that shyness is more of a play of your own mind, than the fact out there. Our mind often ‘play tricks’ on us, it can make us imagine things to be worse than what it really is. Get a grip of it. Shatter it’s myth and take control of your reality. Commit to push whatever images of ‘shyness’ out of your mind and replace it with a positive play of the outcome.

3) Create instant impact. There is power in approaching people instantly. It makes you look confident. Gets things going. And most of all, it does not allow you time to be shy.

4) Dress up to be your best. Your attire and dress does have the ability to make you feel confident. Once you look elegant, crisp and sharp, your natural confidence can also be brought out. The Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) concept of ‘anchoring’ applies here too. And you don’t even need to remind yourself that you are dressed to your best too. So why not let a no-brainer way puts you at your advantage?

5) Practice your approach often with different people. Get used to relating and communicating to others. There is no short cut to being competent here. Mere reading of articles here won’t turn you into a smootie smoochie. You’ve got to be the one doing your due diligence. (Drop me an email when you want additional easy and simple ways to effectively approach or open a conversation with others.)

Alright then, time to go off and prepare my next run of talk on gender communication. Will be back with more tips, strategies and ideas.

Meanwhile, excel more in your daily life. Cheers! 🙂

7 Undeniable Facts About Making Your Relationship Work

July 26, 2007

When I was in the taxi yesterday on my way to conduct a training, I overheard of the radio show some statistics about marriage. According to the ministry, there are more than 7000 divorce in this year alone and divorce rates are at the highest for the last 10 years.

Interesting, I thought to myself. Apparently, more and more husbands and wives are finding it harder to get along and live together. Of course, with every divorce and breakups, there are possible reasons as always. What we can know is that it’s no longer just a simple case of just being with each other, but more other factors come into play.

In my coaching, training and counseling work for individuals and couples, I am absolutely not surprised about the data that was presented over the radio program. There are signs around us that indicate this trend. Hence, this article about the undeniable facts about making your relationship work.

Fact #1: You can’t have a relationship, a real relationship, if you don’t communicate with each other. One way street is not the way to build relationship… unless it’s with yourself.

Fact #2: To accept the other person into your life, you have to open yourself up to that person. You have to meet and interact with that person. Living in emotional ivory tower simply isn’t going to work.

Fact #3: Relationships involves investing emotions, not just a mere list of “To Do”. You have to put in your feelings. Passion is like added spice to a bland dish, and so is shared intimacy to different degrees. Giving flowers or cards just because it’s a scheduled task on your organizer can only get you superficial gestures in return.

Fact #4: To build quality relationship, you have to willingly share good times and bad times with each other. Every time you are together, its in the ups or the downs of your life. Let it be shared with the worthy one. Fair weathered people not allowed here.

Fact#5: Being in a relationship does require you to both compromise sometimes. You will have to adjust to each other, making time and taking in differing viewpoints.

Each individual will end up shaping the other. Our life experiences and character will be infused within the lifestyle of the other. If no compromise is made, then it will be like a rock ramping against a brick. Never expect to be unchanged by someone you truly love.

Fact #6: To make it work long term, your values and beliefs must be accepted or the least, appreciated by each other. Otherwise, it will be full of turmoil within. A simple flutter of life’s waving hands and it will crumple.

Fact #7: Relationships involve changes and hence incur risk. Understand that everybody changes and nothing will always be the same. But you have to accept the risk as part of life and in relationship.

Yet the irony is, you can’t build a truly real relationship by being ‘safe’. Risk is sometimes what makes a relationship worth having and pursuing. It’s what makes relationships so alluring and beautiful.

Go on, strive to make it work. Make, not just your life, but also your relationship excel beyond excellence.

What You Really Must Know About Couples At Work

July 22, 2007

Just finished conducting a workshop today on “Attraction at Work” where its about how to be massively more attractive to others at the workplace. I sincerely thank all the participants for exploring with me this extremely essential aspect of our lives.

Going through the many enquries and question posed, one of the most common recurring questions is involving couples at work.

This question goes something like this: “Should dating/ married couples work together in the same department/ company?”

The real essence of it is that this not really about should or should not, but rather its a question of how.

Since now that you are already a couple, via dating or by marriage, short of asking you to go different ways, the better approach should be to seek a resolution or compromise to the current situation.

The question of how should be based on 2 key factors:

1) How comfortable are both of you at working together?

2) How do you manage working together?

The first factor is one of the degree of (inner) emotional acceptance. While the second deals with external act of work management as a couple.

Firstly you must understand the Pros and Cons of working together and working separately as a couple.

In order to better resolve the potential conflict of working together, there will have to be some premises for them:

Both must agree and accept that Arrangements will have to be made and abided to. Though its not necessary to be as iron clad as military.

Both must regularly Communicate, diplomatically airing their views and taking the time to understand each other’s position.

Both must Compromise whenever possible. As couple, you have to understand that its not possible to be making decisions just solely your own rational. There will have to be give and take by both party in order for the relationship to work.


Acceptance of arrangement

Communication of comfort

Compromise of couplehood

Utilize these tips, work them through and you’ll have a much more fulfilling experience as a couple at work and home.

How To Charm With Charisma?

May 29, 2007

Charisma is a much needed factor today in human relations. It opens doors and make things happen so much easier. It speeds up dating, selling, negotiating, leading, you just name it. It helps in all. Of course, it also gets things you want, persuasively and effortlessly.

Throughout the ages, scholars, orators, leaders, conquerors and the likes have been studying the ancient mysterious topic of Charisma. What makes people tick, what makes some want to devote their lives unto obeying and even dying for another.

Leaders will dread not to have because without personal charisma, people will then not be easily lead. Speakers desire to be born with it, because charisma can elevate them to the high seat. The lovers, single and attached, hone it because it just makes attraction so much effortless.

When you want to charm with charisma, watch your posture. Its not just about your physiology, its also about your mental posture. The strength and tenacity of your mind matters most.

Learn to develop the “Can-Do” attitude. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going… and starts charming. When you are more enthusiastic than others in downtimes, you uplift the spirit of people around you. That grooms your charisma.

Be sure to be sure. Ha! That means there’s charm in a man (or woman) who knows what he/she wants. Yup, no doubt about this. (pun intended) 🙂

Take these points, work them into your daily lives.

You’ll be soon be charming with charisma and excelling beyond excellence!

Why Should You Be On The Love Boat?

May 6, 2007

On the 3rd of May, the concept of Dating@Sea was highlighted on the newspaper. At the same time, was also featured and interviewed on the Television News channel regarding funding the organizers, where we can now use the fund to publicize, market and organize activities for more people to participate, and ultimately, increase the opportunity for romance and attraction.

When people are out at sea, they are placed in a whole new environment where they must now interact differently. The activities are then designed to bring people together, creating new understandings of each other in the process.

It is interesting and good to participate in events that take you out of a different context, especially for dating and potential romance. Dating@Sea has always been a shining example of such concept.

For those who are into romance and more love, some Concepts of Romance that come into work whenever you are in a new setting. These concepts give you the reasons why you should be on The Love Boat:

1. When you are in new place, you are discovering a new love.

2. Giving others a chance is giving yourself a chance too.

3. Pushing your boundaries and comfort zone helps to expand your social skills.

The Love Boat puts into people a new discovery of romance within. It is more of an avenue and a new channel for people to get to know each other. Even if it’s not a boat, a special place or resort will also serve the purpose.

Be on the Love Boat the next time it sets sail. Bon voyage.

DARE You Make A Date?

April 13, 2007

The feature profiling me as well as my training and coaching was published on The New Paper. For the many well-wishes that I’ve received through phone calls, emails and SMS, I truly thank you. Indeed I sincerely appreciate your support, sharing and friendships over all these years. To all my participants and clients, it has been an honor to be able to share my thoughts and work with you.

For those who have read the article on The New Paper, 12 April 2007, entitled: “Make a Date with The Coach“, you will notice that I mentioned in the interview about DARE: Dating, Attraction and RElationships, one of my most popular workshops.

It’s about guts and confidence. Do they dare to make a change to their lives?” I said.

Indeed it’s really about how daring are we at creating new possibilities, not just for ourselves but for others. And how badly do we want to change it?

Are we daring enough to ignore the fear, the hesitation and the apprehension that stop us?

For all the potential and the driving engine that lie within us, we can summon these and the ability to overcome various obstacles, both inner and relational. I have seen this happen many times. Those who dare enough will be able to discover the resources and strategies to make things better, and a new life unfolds.

We can make a date with change and improvement. It can be done…

As long as we DARE.

Is there a person you’ve been secretly admiring?

Has there been someone you’ve been wanting to date?

Is there a current marriage you’ve wanting to improve?

Have you been wanting to take a step closer in your relationship?

Do you want to add new zest with your long term partner?

Do you want to stay away from those lonely sleepless nights?

Is there a change you’ve been wanting to make in your life?

You can always make a date to improve your life…
As long as you DARE!