Archive for the ‘Beliefs and Values’ category

How To Apply Emotional Intelligence At Your Workplace?

March 1, 2009

Many trainings, coachings and meetings have taken place over the past few weeks. They come in at a faster pace than I can write about them. Fully packed weeks I must say. In my deepest of heart, I consider it a bonus being able to reach out to so many people within these few short weeks. And these are definitely the perks of being a public speaker and trainer. The honor is definitely mine.

One of the most intensive trainings I’ve conducted just a week ago was “Emotional Intelligence at Work” for a major government institution. Real issues were presented to me and I took the time to address them, knowing how my comments would affect the participants’ career and lives.

As they shared and generated more interest in human behavior at the workplace, I was impressed by how they could react with the concepts taught. Talk about accelerated learning. After all, when you put in heart into what you are doing, you couldn’t wait to make it work. That was what I witnessed.

When it comes to the workplace, emotions can fly. More often than not, bosses judge the staffs while customers always have to the right to complaint. You can’t underestimate the power of emotion. They will simply overwhelm you when you’re not in-charge of yourself.

Here are some ways you can apply better emotional intelligence to your work:

1. Respect emotions, the power of emotions.

2. Understand your emotions do and will affect others at work.

3. Commit to looking at the useful and productive side of the tasks.

4. Check yourself if your responses and motivations are driven by purposeful emotions.

5. Create a list of emotions that you want to display at work.

6. Insist on making yourself a positive influence with your colleagues.

7. Let yourself immerse in the joy of creative juice with your tasks.

(Source: wekie.com)

A New Thought For The New Turn Of The Year

December 31, 2008

As the clock goes ticking away, the world awaits the turn of the year. Many people look forward eagerly to the arrival of 2009 with a sense of anticipation and hope. A hope that the New Year will be better, a wish that the current outlook will be brighter, and a yearning that personal lives will be smoother.

This year, 2008, has been filled with turning events, ranging from tainted scandals, to elections and change of governments, from terrorists events to monumental human achievements. These are all worth reflecting, analyzing and discussing, along with the fact that they provide lessons worth learning.

Granted some events are beyond our personal control, but there are surely things in life that we can affect and have some influence over. These things that we can do, no matter how miniscule, are things that we can do. And that is enough, for now.

Therefore as we watch the hours, minutes and seconds drawing closer toward the countdown, what we can hold in our mind is this:

What can I do next?

In the light of merely having the events happen and sweep pass us, what we can ponder about are the things we can do for ourselves and the people around us. This simple thought in the form a question can drive people to create ultimately massive changes in the world.

At the very least, it will set us of in the direction we want in our lives. Think about the allure of knowing what your life in gear the very moment the clock strikes twelve. I would be pretty excited by the prospects of this.

Some of the questions that you can think about on this last day of 2008 in preparation for the New Year include:

— Do I want to treat people better?

— Do I intend to work on my communication?

— Are there things that are left over to accomplish?

— Am I ready to quit unproductive things that I should have stopped long ago?

— What can I pay attention to in my life?

— What has been sitting there, idling, screaming for me to work on?

— Have I taken the following step towards my dream?

Whatever that, in your perspective, would be meaningful to you will hence add that value to this turn of the year. After all, if we are to carry something forward from this departing year, we might as well bring over the residual learning and our dreams to the next 365 days.

May you take a closer step towards your life goals and Excel Beyond Excellence!

Have a wonderful New Year! See you in 2009!

(Source: wekie.com)

A Personal Birthday Tribute To You

December 25, 2008

Being born on Christmas Day has its interesting merits. From receiving only one present to having many people remember you, it has always been a refreshing encounter whenever I reveal my birth date. Birthdays are always special, to that person on that day.

Just as reaching another year indicates another year older, it always implies that you’ve “made it through” another 365 days. You’ve survived through the tough times again and you are now celebrating it once more. In short, “you’ve arrived.”

While I congratulate myself for reaching another Yuletide season unscathed, I also remember those who’ve help me get here. It’s not just the familiar faces, but also those unsung heroes who have played special roles in moving me along, even if it for that flash of a second. Indeed, every body in my life played a part.

From those who’ve been critical of me to my inspiring participants and strongest encouragers, I thank you. For it’s because of you that I’ve made it, again. Every word from you influences my thoughts and forms another bit of my behavior. Truly no man stands along, nor lives alone (except on a marooned island.)

Simple words can sometimes share the deepest and most purposeful meaning. Therefore, 5 simple words to those I’ve met, gotten to know, trained and worked with for the year and the past years of my life, and to those who are reading this: I Thank You Very Much.

Merry Christmas to you.

Related article: My Birthday Thoughts And My Thanks To You, My Friend

(Source: wekie.com)

From A Time Of Birthday Reflection To A Year Of Growth

December 24, 2008

As I sit here in the middle of the night typing out my thoughts, I can’t help taking a quick glance at my organizer. Flipping the dogged-ear pages back and forth brought back a sense of sweet nostalgic feelings. I remembered just a year ago, on my Birthday; I made my annual reflective recollection in my own quiet time.

It brought to mind how thankful I was for the year’s encounters. I also remembered the friends I’ve made in my talks, trainings as well as those who had engaged me as their personal coach. The contributions they’ve allowed me to make in their lives had helped in my grand appreciation of the world at large.

These fuelled my realization of how complex the entire human race can be, yet how simple the solutions can turn out to become.

Paradoxical, perhaps? Yes, indeed.

And you’ll be surprised how much an irony life can turn out to be.

Nonetheless, to me, it simply means how clear cut I can see the answers to the problems are. These insights now merge into an experience and discovery I’ve deeply treasured in my personal capacity as a citizen of my community and of the entire universe. Hence, I strive to add these values and learning into my work as a speaker and trainer.

In the course of this year I’ve been receiving an increasing amount of speaking, coaching and training engagements. They are often packed back to back, at times running for a series of days. Hence a nearly continuous standing up of 8 to 11 hours a day makes my legs demand that I treat them to a warm massage and a deep healing rub. Despite their lamentations, I carried on “mis-treating” them. But, it’s all worth it.

It’s an emotional high whenever I speak or train! No joke. I’ve never been as serious as now. 🙂

Therefore, this is what makes me grow. I’ve discovered that: When I’m doing what I truly love, it’s all worth it!

Ok, I know some people will exclaim, “But I’m not doing what I love?!!”

Then, my friend, it’s time for you to reflect, and find a reason to love what you do. And you’ll start to grow too.

Complex problem, simple solution.

Merry Christmas to you!

(Source: wekie.com)

5 Important Steps To Super-Charge Your Relationship Communication In Life

December 19, 2008

It was just a few nights ago where the evening newspaper, Lian He Wan Bao, published my advice on the headlines and the inner page. I was engaged by the organizers because of my expertise in relationship communication and my experience in coaching different people.

Based on what the reporter had observed, I was being interviewed and shared some practical tips on how people can improve their relationships with each other.

As a Professional Excellence speaker and trainer, I am passionately interested to see people communicate better, build quality relationships, eventually be competent in all the Professional Excellence skills and ultimately excel beyond in various aspects of their lives.

Indeed, we must start to consider how the world has changed and evolved. It’s through our self-reflection and mutual consideration that we can discover enhanced ways to relate with one another.

Be it with colleagues, parent and child, staff and boss, friends or other forms of interaction, you have to be more tactful and remain sensitive to your relationship building skills. Fortunately, there are 5 of such important steps to make our communication so much better in our relationships and interactions.

The steps are:

Step 1: Consider the other party’s position first.

Step 2: Understand how the way you communicate your viewpoints can affect that person and your relationship.

Step 3: Seek to bridge the gap between both perceptions by establishing the common purposes.

Step 4: Practice saying those sentences to yourself before you talk in person. Ensure they come across acceptable.

Step 5: Check for mutual understanding and appreciation during the communication process.

Remember, Communicate Well, Make Your Relationship Excel!

(Source: wekie.com)

The 5 Major Keys To Facilitating Ideas Effectively

December 14, 2008

When I completed training the government leaders on Facilitation Skills last week, I was pleased with how this useful skill would open up the mindset of many people. After all, what we are looking at is the regulation and facilitation of ideas, thoughts and opinions. And everyone will somewhat have certain level of viewpoint. Even choosing to not have an opinion is also an opinion.

What matters most the essence of getting these ideas out of the person’s mind, conjured and packaged into something useful, practical and applicable. While these are always subjective, they still contribute somewhat to the progress. All it takes is a shift in paradigm.

Hence, the following crucial keys will prove useful whenever you facilitate ideas and thoughts with your group:

1. Never discount the value of an idea without first putting it to fair examination of worthiness.

2. Create the safe, encouraging environment for sharing.

3. Realize that an idea need not stand alone. It can be combined and rehashed with other ideas.

4. Set the ground rules of interaction and ensure that everybody is on the same page.

5. Just because there are critiques to the idea does not imply that the idea is not workable.

(Source: wekie.com)

Exploring The Essence Of What It Truly Means To Be A Befriender

December 6, 2008

As Day 2 of the double Sunday Befrienders’ Training last week came to an end, some participants lingered on. We managed to discuss on the real life issues that faced the client’s families. These are not merely misunderstanding but real cumbersome problems that plagued these families and existed for a long time.

Being a Befriender implies that one ought to be ready to serve that special friend for the troubled person. Your presence could sometimes make the difference between the family’s hope and despair. You bring the hope, the comfort and the possibilities of a brighter outlook to their own future.

The following essential points thus become crucial for the Befriender:

1. The key to being a Befriender is Trust. And you will be entrusted with many untold information divulged by the family you befriend.

2. You have to balance the Ethics issue with your Integrity as a Befriender.

3. Your perspective of life is called into challenge. Be steadfast but receptive to other lifestyles that exist for your befriending family.

4. You should help the family prepare for a life after you. Guide them as a friend to help themselves live better on their own.

5. Both of you are eventually transformed, enriched and empowered in the process. It’s not only that the family gets better; it also becomes your personal reflection to appreciate life.

(Source: wekie.com)

The 5 Key Dynamics You Must Pay Attention To When You Communicate And Solve Problems With Your Team

November 17, 2008

A quick check with my schedule indicated that the past few days were absolutely packed with various trainings. The pace of living a life as a public speaker, trainer and consultant has picked up tremendously over the years. To me, this is somewhat a sign of the growing need and recognition for Professional Excellence trainings, speaking engagements and personal consultations as well as an increase in the participants’ willingness to upgrade themselves.

No longer is it possible to just be contented with fundamental technical skills, the soft skills aspects are now the essentials. It’s not just the norm, but it’s so necessary that even companies are demanding that their staffs know how to build better relationships with quality communication. This is even more so when problems abound at work, and, to a fair degree, exist in their personal lives.

Hence just 2 days ago, on Saturday, I completed Day 2 of the “Communication and Problem Solving for Leaders” training. In this customized in-house workshop for that multi-national cooperation, I explored with the leader-participations the range of key dynamics in leading people via effective communication, resulting in better ways to solve work problems and issues.

I also made sure that these learning points were easy and quick to apply with fast results. When the participants gave their input, I was highly delighted when they integrated the communication concepts into their demonstrations.

Taking it further, some of the key dynamics that you must pay attention to whenever you are communicating with your team to solve problems include:

1. The Agreement on the values and ultimate outcome or objectives of the project.

2. The Acceptance of the ground rules during the exploration of the issues and the discussion of the problems.

3. The Understanding of the flow of the problem solving model and process.

4. The Willingness to suspend personal biasness and let go of the limitations in perceptions.

5. The Intention to cooperate with each other in working towards resolving the problems.

(Source: wekie.com)

Ignore Them At Your Own Risk! Exploring The 5 Essence Of Managing Your Conflicts Without Making Them Worse

November 12, 2008

As I approached this training topic over the past 2 days, I’ve derived even more ways of handling conflicting situations and tough people. What I’ve always liked about “Conflict Management” workshops are the freshness and renewed challenges that keep presenting themselves.

What did I do? I basically encouraged the participants to explore the tough conflicts with me.

And throughout these interactions, I helped them to design the different approaches that they can use whenever the conflicts arise. It’s never a quick hit-and-run solution if you want to get to the root of the issue, but there are truly some words and approaches that can put you in a more positive light.

Do reflect and consider the following essence of conflict management:

1. When people get angry, they are exhibiting a inner set of conflicting values. These values often, though not always, have been accumulated over time. You want to recognize that in you.

2. Conflicting people want to be heard, and seriously do not appreciate receiving any condescending treatment.

3. They are also seeking support of some kind for their points of views. Notice when the areas of similarity might be for both your viewpoints.

4. These people have either an overly high or overly hurt ego of some kind and want to assert it unto people around them. Handle their egos with care!

5. Avoid getting too carried away to prove yourself right, because that’s exactly what conflicts can get you to do — get carried away and your conflict escalates.

(Source: wekie.com)

How To Integrate Leadership Communication Into Your Interaction With People

November 9, 2008

I completed the first segment of the training yesterday with a sense of satisfaction. Although it was Saturday, I was glad the participant-leaders were able to be dedicating their time to better themselves. After all, this course “Communication and Problem Solving for Leaders” was specifically customized for them.

We had a fair bit of in-depth discussion on what it meant for a leader to communicate. I call this “Leadership Communication”. The participants understood that the manners and style of communication were also very much affected by the leader’s personality. Hence, I was pleased when the leaders were able to integrate the various concepts into their practice.

When we explored the concepts of leadership communication, we also derived various ways of displaying them at work.

Here are some of them:

1. Understand how your staffs prefer to interact and communicate.

2. Discuss with them your corporate goals with values and how you are going to lead them to fulfill these objectives.

3. Seek to inspire them by communicating trust in their capabilities.

4. Remember that one key element of communication is listening, active listening.

5. Let your staff know that you understand them by communicating with empathy and your willingness to adopt possible, workable ideas.

(Source: wekie.com)