Archive for the ‘Beliefs and Values’ category

Top 10 Reasons Why Your Brain “Malfunctions” Whenever You Need It To Work Most

November 3, 2008

You’ve been through this before. It was crunch time. Your future depended on it. Your happiness came down to this crucial moment. The turning point of your life beckoned. It’s make it or break it time, do or die…

Yet as you cleared your throat to speak, nothing came out. It’s not that you’ve lost your ability to articulate. But your mind just went blank. Nothing came out of your mouth. Try as you might, your brain simply refused to conjure up the next piece of sensible information. It went on strike, right on the dot.

And it couldn’t pick a better time; especially when you are attempting that 10-points examination question to graduate, bracing yourself for that love confession sentence which you’re dying to utter, and of course, the moments of awkward public speech silence. It was still on strike.

Yes, your brain left you to hang… high and dry.

And here’s why your precious brain decides to leave for a short tea-break or ‘vacation’ whenever you need it to report for work:

1. You don’t understand or know your own natural biorhythm. I call this your PPPs, “Peak Performance Period”.

2. You’ve yet to learn how to focus on what motivates. As a result you give in to distractions, internally and environmentally.

3. Your own physical body does not acquire the sufficient or suitable nutrition to keep your brain working healthily.

4. You don’t have the right motivation and driving desire to propel yourself.

5. The lack of energy and rest makes us too tired for intensive mental work.

6. You got overwhelmed by the tasks and challenges that face you. You felt too ‘microscopically and atomically small’ for such a gigantic glorious mission that might change the history of mankind and the surface of the earth.

7. Anxiety, worry, frustrations, fear took over your mind and imagination instead of you being relaxed. The stress you experienced made your mind went ‘blank’

8. It’s the result of poor thinking and working habits you’ve, intentionally or un-wittedly, adopted over the years.

9. You have yet to master your mind to a reasonable, applicable level. The techniques of mind mastery and brain power continue to lie undiscovered for you.

10. You’ve never “wanted it to work” in the first place. You saw the act as a need and as an obligation instead of an all-inspiring purpose. Hence it’s because of your attitude towards the work.

(Source: wekie.com)

5 Relevant Reframes To Help You Reframe Your Problems

November 1, 2008

One of the most common encounters I have in my trainings is that I get asked with regard to how to solve problems. And these problems placed before me range from work-place issues, career conflicts, personal motivation blockages, social and romantic relationship queries, marital concerns, life threatening obstacles and the likes. It’s always refreshing and an useful brain exercise in quick thinking to guide them in reframing these problems.

Yesterday’s training “Reframing Problems Into Opportunities” dealt specifically with resolving problems itself. The participants opened up to share and we take another look into how problems can be perceived differently. Lots of interesting cases were thrown up, examined, diagnosed and possible future were presented to them. It was most mentally stimulating indeed.

Hence, here are some of the relevant reframes we discussed. When employed, they will enable you to better reframe your problems.

1. Everything you read, encounter and experience is an attempt at reframing the problems in your life.

2. See them as issues and situations, rather than as problems.

3. Understand that for every issue, there are at least 2 sides of the coins.

4. You can choose, if you choose to. Therefore, choose to choose first.

5. The key lies in the solutions you have, not the problems you are having.

(Just a quick point to add: If the problems in your life get too overwhelming or unbearable, please get a coach or mentor now. Talk to him or her immediately. Time is of the essence.)

(Source: wekie.com)

5 Simple Steps To Better Emotional Management

October 23, 2008

It had almost been like clockwork for the past few days. I’ve been conducting one training after another, not to mention the personal coaching after the day-time training sessions. The schedule was packed, energy demanding, but highly satisfying.

During the training and personal sharing, the inner personalities of the participants emerge. They expressed different emotional thoughts and the varying body language become tell-tale signs of their feelings.

There are always times when we wish to acquire better and more purposeful emotions. Here are some of the steps that will enable you to do so:

1. Determine what your current emotion is.

2. Decide what your ideal emotion is.

3. Create a strong enough reason to have that intended emotion.

4. Immerse in that situation which produces this emotion.

5. Integrate yourself fully into this emotion.

(Source: wekie.com)

5 Truths You Must Know About Winning The Inner Game OF Negotiation And Deals Making

October 18, 2008

Yesterday saw the completion of the 2 day Negotiation and Conflict Resolution training for a very popular multi-national corporation. I’ve always enjoyed conducting such trainings and handling the questions because they are usually challenging, tough yet so prevalent in our lives.

It’s never an easy task especially when negotiation skills seem to be needed almost at every turn and nearly every facade of our life. This requires us to raise our game of bargaining to a much higher level, especially for the ambitious. For it is through negotiation that many productive and profitable deals can be made. Progress is therefore dependent on your bargaining success.

To set you on a winning negotiation advantage, you’ve have to know the truth in playing the inner game:

1. Negotiation is a test of your mental strength and dexterity.

2. Negotiation requires you to compete on thinking speed and pushes creativity limits.

3. You have to possess superior sensory awareness and acuity to win the game.

4. Negotiation demands of you to attain emotional balance.

5. The one who can exercise greater linguistic fluency wins the game.

(Source: wekie.com)

5 Practical Ways To Build Up Your Quality Interpersonal Relationships And Network

October 16, 2008

When I completed the 2 day training on “Up Your Image with Power Dressing and Interpersonal Skills” yesterday, I had a strong sense of satisfaction and elation. I was truly happy to see how determined the participants were in wanting to make a progress change in their lives. They participated in the activities with enthusiasms and initiated several ideas of their own, from sharing how to relate with others to networking on their own.

I also liked how the class was filled with an air of tranquility and anticipated excitement, eager to go forth to make that change in their own lives. I look forward to hearing more news of how they have created even more positive relationships through their interaction with others.

Adding on, here are some of the ways that you can build your interpersonal relationship with quality and better tap on your network.

1. Maintain regular contact with each other.

2. Ensure that time is spent meaningfully.

3. Seek values agreement and acknowledgment of each other.

4. Show empathy and experience in your interaction.

5. Provide a chance for mutual progress in various aspects of your interpersonal relationships.

(Source: wekie.com)

How To Keep Your Mind Sane In The Face Of Financial Insanity?

October 13, 2008

Over these couple of weeks we keep hearing reports of people suffering from depression as a result of the world-wide financial turmoil. Indeed, there are such trying times where investors are caught off guard. The deep regrets and sense of loss over their depleted funds are indescribable.

In my recent personal coaching and consultations, there are several individuals who come to me as they have been experiencing this diabolical bout of depression and anxiety. They had difficulty geting over the loss of their hard-earned money.

Yet, no matter how bleak things may be. One must not lose their mind still. It’s the key thing you can depend on for now. This will hence demand from you a greater mental dexterity than before to tide over this uncertainty.

Do consider working on some of these ways to better enable a sane mind in the midst of these insane times:

1. Plan your day. Make it meaningful and live the day usefully.

2. Read from your favorite joke book. Better to take your mind into a world of joy than to go into the other extreme. Focus on the lighter side of life.

3. Meet your mentor. Have a talk with someone you respect and get some practical tips to handle crisis better.

4. Indulge in a new hobby. As you stay out of the market, why not take it as a time to do something you haven’t been getting down to? A new hobby will keep your life enriched.

5. Call a counseling hotline. Sharing with a stranger allows you to pour your hearts out. The trained counselor may just be the listening ear you need.

6. Work out your savings. Stay rational with your money management. You live to fight another day.

7. Meditate. Stay mentality calm. Peace out.

(Source: wekie.com)

When Your Negotiation Gets Tougher: 5 Ways To Turn The Tables In Your Favor

October 12, 2008

Two days ago, I wrapped up another session of the very rigorous “Effective Negotiation Skills” training. This training on Negotiation directly addresses the urgent needs of today’s working professionals regarding their personal lives and work careers. Checking on my schedule and bookings, there are already more runs of Negotiation training on the cards in the coming weeks.

It is often likely that the negotiation and the flow of communication will get tougher before it gets better. In this case, fret not. (You better fret not.)

Here are some of the ways to turn the tables in your favor:

1. Always remain steadfast whenever the situation gets tougher.

2. Clear your mind of negativity. You cannot afford to have these thoughts at all, certainly not at this moment.

3. Listen out for the incongruence in the other party’s communication. These provide clues to the ‘cracks’ on their stand.

4. Highlight to increase or decrease their values as your bargaining chips. The more of such ‘chips’ you have, the better your position is.

5. Get the firm assurance and commitment. A nodding of head will not suffice.

(Source: wekie.com)

7 SHAREEE Ways To Create, Build And Sustain A Successful Mentoring Relationship

October 7, 2008

I was giving a talk tonight to the NUS Toastmasters about Mentoring. Over the months, the Club has managed to put together a more formalized Mentorship Program. The response tonight was overwhelming and the energy was extremely high. Kudos to the organizers for their efforts in bringing everyone, both the Mentors and Mentees, to the same place.

During my segment, I shared with the audience the 7 useful ways to create, build and sustain the relationship between Mentors and Mentees that will foster camaraderie. It’s a series of SHAREEE ways:

System. Have a system of contact and guidance, both agreeable between the mentor and the mentee.

Honesty. Be acceptable to frank opinions and be open to share constructive criticism.

Accessibility. You can’t build a relationship with an invisible man. Both of you will have to be somewhat accessibility and available to each other, to some reasonable degree.

Reflective. This enables you to reflect on your learning and progress as time passes, deepening the value of such a mentoring relationship

Empathy. Be in each other’s shoes to understand the inner motivations and causes of behaviours. This will enhance mutual appreciation of where the other party comes from.

Experienced. The Mentor will have to be experienced in guiding and providing suitable advice. The Mentee, on the other hand, will gain experience in being mentored the right way and benefit accordingly.

Excelling. Both of you must eventually grow in your own right and be excelling in your own designed dimensions. This becomes proves that your mentoring relationship is positive and has worked for you.

In short, you Excel Beyond Excellence!

Source: wekie.com

If You Disagree With Someone…

October 5, 2008

It’s normal.

It’s human.

It’s a part of growing up.

It’s a portion of learning.

It’s a reflection of a lesson.

It’s how new worlds are defined.

It’s how new knowledge are acquired.

It’s how we get out of our comfort zone.

It’s how our dimensions are pushed beyond.

It’s how we escape from our mental ivory tower.

It’s how nations rise and fall, and rise again.

It’s how civilizations are torn and re-built.

It’s how progress for mankind is made.

It’s how we avoid becoming obsolete.

It’s how perspectives are expanded.

It’s how breakthroughs occur.

It’s just the way humans are.

It’s how we start to excel.

It’s just the way you are.

It’s just the way life is.

It’s life.

If you disagree with me,

Congratulations! Welcome to Life!

Source: wekie.com

It’s Not What You Think It Is! 3 Things Relationships Are NOT!

October 4, 2008

I was conducting part 2 of “What Men Want” last night. This was a private exclusive workshop for women only so the participants can raise personal issues and enquire about the workings on the other gender. I will then be able to answer specifically to their own situations. As a result, we were able to cover in-depth into how different genders function, think and act.

In addition, I will also like to highlights certain things that relationships are not:

1. Relationships are not about the activities you do, they are about what both of you derive out of what you do.

2. Relationships are not about the amount of time you spend together, they are about the quality of time you spend with each other.

3. Relationships are not about a list of things each one of you must become or do, it’s about accepting the differences of each other in who you are and what you do.

Source: wekie.com