Archive for the ‘Dating Dynamics’ category

5 Important Steps To Super-Charge Your Relationship Communication In Life

December 19, 2008

It was just a few nights ago where the evening newspaper, Lian He Wan Bao, published my advice on the headlines and the inner page. I was engaged by the organizers because of my expertise in relationship communication and my experience in coaching different people.

Based on what the reporter had observed, I was being interviewed and shared some practical tips on how people can improve their relationships with each other.

As a Professional Excellence speaker and trainer, I am passionately interested to see people communicate better, build quality relationships, eventually be competent in all the Professional Excellence skills and ultimately excel beyond in various aspects of their lives.

Indeed, we must start to consider how the world has changed and evolved. It’s through our self-reflection and mutual consideration that we can discover enhanced ways to relate with one another.

Be it with colleagues, parent and child, staff and boss, friends or other forms of interaction, you have to be more tactful and remain sensitive to your relationship building skills. Fortunately, there are 5 of such important steps to make our communication so much better in our relationships and interactions.

The steps are:

Step 1: Consider the other party’s position first.

Step 2: Understand how the way you communicate your viewpoints can affect that person and your relationship.

Step 3: Seek to bridge the gap between both perceptions by establishing the common purposes.

Step 4: Practice saying those sentences to yourself before you talk in person. Ensure they come across acceptable.

Step 5: Check for mutual understanding and appreciation during the communication process.

Remember, Communicate Well, Make Your Relationship Excel!



It’s Not What You Think It Is! 3 Things Relationships Are NOT!

October 4, 2008

I was conducting part 2 of “What Men Want” last night. This was a private exclusive workshop for women only so the participants can raise personal issues and enquire about the workings on the other gender. I will then be able to answer specifically to their own situations. As a result, we were able to cover in-depth into how different genders function, think and act.

In addition, I will also like to highlights certain things that relationships are not:

1. Relationships are not about the activities you do, they are about what both of you derive out of what you do.

2. Relationships are not about the amount of time you spend together, they are about the quality of time you spend with each other.

3. Relationships are not about a list of things each one of you must become or do, it’s about accepting the differences of each other in who you are and what you do.


What Your Relationships Truly Are, And What They Should Not Be For You

September 14, 2008

Following the well-received workshop on “What Men Want” the previous week was another successful run of “What Women Want” just a couple of nights ago. I’m glad that in WWW, the men now had a better understand of the other gender and are better geared to create more meaningful relationships. It’s also a booster for the participants to be socially apt in their personal lives.

Adding on to the overall understanding of relationships, here are what they truly are as well as what rhey should not be for you:

1. Your relationships are meant to be worked at, not for you stare at and do nothing about them.

2. Your relationships are designed to add meaning, not take away any lives (figuratively, and in extreme cases, literally.)

3. Your relationships are created to enhance and build up the fundamental social and emotional needs of you, the person, not devastate and destroy the primary functioning of a person.

What 3 Things That You, As A Parent, Must Know During Your Parental Connections Match-Making Sessions?

September 9, 2008

The Singapore dating scene has always been changing and will evolve even more. More back to a traditional sense in some way. Traditionally speaking, ancient Asians get hitched by means of using a match-maker with parents of both families playing an active role in the process.

Last Sunday, just 2 days ago, it was nostalgic times where parents now play the active, rather, hyperactive roles of seeking out the best mate for their single children. The Parental Connections Match-Matching Session was a massive grand success, with more than double the numbers of parents turning up instead of the anticipated 40. This pioneering occasion in Singapore was featured over all the various media on the very same day and days after. You can also view and read about this offline and online.

As this was the initial run of this event, there were various things and understandings that have to be sorted out. Nonetheless, knowing the following 3 tips will greatly help in your match-making session:

1) What is considered a match? Is it the educational status, the age, hobbies or habits or others?

2) What is the match-making process like? Do you just collect numbers and contact? How do I give out my contacts? What steps do I need to take to make the sessions fruitful?

3) What are the key concerns and implications after the match-making sessions? How do I tell my child? How do I commence contact with the other party? Where go they move on next?

Remember to do your due-diligence. As parents, you have significant influence over the lifestyles and, to a fair extend, the potential spouse of your child.

Exercising knowledge and practicality of these tips will surely make your future Parental Connections Match-making sessions a lot more purposeful and, perhaps, the future of your child, more blissful.

Best Wishes to your match-making!

5 Common Things Both Of You MUST ABSOLUTELY HAVE To Construct A Long-Lasting Relationship

September 6, 2008

I was conducting a very special and exclusive seminar for the ladies 2 nights ago. In this private seminar entitled, “What Men Want”, I unveiled the workings of the male gender and how they function. Many were surprised that things were not what they seemed to be. Plenty of interests were generated and we had as many ladies as possible to clear their doubts. In the midst of the sharing, plenty of pointers were exchanged along with the humorous nuggets of funny relationship encounters.

To tag on the subject of building better relationships with you and your other half, let me share with you the common things that both of you must definitely, absolutely, compulsorily have in order for your relationship to last… and last… and last:

1. The common willingness to comprehend each other.

2. The common willingness to compromise with each other.

3. The common willingness to communicate with each other.

4. The common willingness to complete each other.

5. The common willingness to come together regularly

5 Things You Can Do in Communication To Be Even Closer With Him Or Her

August 28, 2008

What a roaring great time we had just two nights ago! I was speaking at a lecture theatre in the National University of Singapore and the audiences were phenomenal. They participated actively and laughed heartily. It was definitely a wonderful time of sharing.

This special seminar, “Communication Between Men and Women” explores the art of ‘He says, she says’. It is designed to shed insights onto why do men and women communicate and think so differently as well as to highlight on how both genders can relate better with each other.

Here are what you can do so to be closer than before with him or her:

1. Understand and appreciate the interests displayed through the words of the opposite gender.

2. Know when to keep quiet and listen.

3. Use reflective listening to validate and acknowledge what is being said.

4. Maintain sincere eye contact when communicating with him or her.

5. Share a brief summary of what you heard from the other person.

The 3 Trigger Keys Of Relationships: What Makes You Want That Person Romantically?

August 22, 2008

Yesterday I had a couple of coaching sessions, one was a public speaking coaching while the other that followed was an individualized relationship coaching. In that particular period of working on the client’s attraction factor, I discussed on what makes a person want someone romantically.

It was a rather in-depth session where lots of ideas and improvement were made for the client. I’m definitely glad that the client was happy with the clear series of next steps to take. It will surely improve one’s life for the better.

Hence, what triggers you to want to be in a relationship with a particular person? They are:

1. Your feelings toward that person.

2. Your idea of the future prospects of being with that person.

3. The values displayed by that person that synergize with yours. (Please note: it does NOT mean that both your values must match or must be compatible.) It just means how the values of that person can play a part in your own values. And they come in 2 forms: Conscious Values and Unconscious/Subliminal Values.

The Meaning Of Relationships: How The Thinkers See Relationships In Our Lives

August 11, 2008

You cannot run away from having a relationship. Be it meaningful ones, constructive ones or those that are negative. Yet, it’s always our role to constantly manage these links and interactions of ours. It first starts with the pondering and the appreciation.

Here are how some of the thinkers and authors see relationships:

Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude. – William James

A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself – to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart. – Leo F. Buscaglia

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed. – Carl Jung

Go out into the world today and love the people you meet. Let your presence light new light in the hearts of people. – Mother Teresa

The most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or what we do, but what we are. – Stephen R. Covey

Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships. – Stephen R. Covey

All disagreements are results of misunderstanding someone else’s level of consciousness. – Deepak Chopra

However good or bad you feel about your relationship, the person you are with at this moment is the “right” person, because he or she is the mirror of who you are inside. – Deepak Chopra

Commitment is inherent in any genuinely loving relationship. – M Scott Peck

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another. – Charles Dickens

Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

No one makes you feel anything. It is how you react and respond that determines your emotions. – Brian Tracy

Some people enter our lives and leave almost instantly. Others stay, can forge such an impression on our heart and soul, we are changed forever. – Author Unknown

5 Things You Must Know To Get More Relationship Insights And Be Closer To Each Other

August 2, 2008

1. What draws both of you together?

2. What do both of you value and place as important?

3. What makes both of you happy with each other?

4. What are both your differences?

5. How can both of you accept each other’s differences and live with these?

How To Powerfully Groom Your Mind To Build Quality Relationships In Your Life? Discover The 5 Ways To Improve Your Relationships

July 24, 2008

I was conducting a Private Relationship Coaching session with a client today when we discussed on various issues of building meaningful relationships. In order to make certain relationships that you have worthwhile, you have to put in effort. Merely leaving your valued relationships to chance won’t do; that’s like throwing mud on the wall and see what sticks.

However that will imply that certain things within you and your paradigms about relationships have to change first, in order to make it a quality one. This also signifies that you have to re-examine yourself for the way to work out your interaction with others, especially your loved ones.

In order to make your relationship work with quality, you have to groom your mind. Condition it well in these manners:

1. Be more open, respectful and receptive of other’s opinions, behaviors and values.

2. Seek regular mutual improvement and better character development between your partner and you.

3. Have fun and enjoyment in your relationship

4. Think out of the box to add variety and creativity in your life.

5. See the positives of the relationship and take the leanings out of every encounter you have with people.

It’s when you integrate these grooming techniques that you start to develop a more empowered paradigm in your relationships. Attention to how your relationships are build, consider that you have to the one to change for the better first. In this way, the quality of your relationships will be able to Excel Beyond Excellence!