Archive for the ‘Handling Difficult People’ category

Top 5 Mistakes Managers Make When Leading Their Teams in Problem Solving

December 28, 2008

Over the past few Saturdays, I had been conducting a series of trainings for the management team of a multi-national corporation. In this training, “Communication and Problem Solving Skills for Leaders”, I focused on getting the leaders in the company to be able to converse well and lead their team to solve various work and life problems.

Of course, as we all know, life is never a piece of cake nor a walk in the park. What’s never ending are the problems, obstacles and issues that crop up now and then. Some are within anticipation, while others hid themselves to sting as the most unexpected moment.

Many managers and leaders were thus left in the dark or at a loss of what to do.

Hence, for this particular article, I would like to highlight on 5 of the most common mistakes that were made when the team is being led to resolve the problems. It will obviously be wise to steer clear of them and they serve as a reminder to avoid committing them.

These top 5 mistakes made by managers are:

1. The manager does not know the problems and he is unable to define them well.

2. The manager has no clear resolution steps formulated with the team.

3. The manager allows the presence of internal bickering and too much politicking.

4. The manager has tasks allocated to the wrong person.

5. The manager has overly unrealistic demands without fair consideration.

(Source: wekie.com)

5 Important Steps To Super-Charge Your Relationship Communication In Life

December 19, 2008

It was just a few nights ago where the evening newspaper, Lian He Wan Bao, published my advice on the headlines and the inner page. I was engaged by the organizers because of my expertise in relationship communication and my experience in coaching different people.

Based on what the reporter had observed, I was being interviewed and shared some practical tips on how people can improve their relationships with each other.

As a Professional Excellence speaker and trainer, I am passionately interested to see people communicate better, build quality relationships, eventually be competent in all the Professional Excellence skills and ultimately excel beyond in various aspects of their lives.

Indeed, we must start to consider how the world has changed and evolved. It’s through our self-reflection and mutual consideration that we can discover enhanced ways to relate with one another.

Be it with colleagues, parent and child, staff and boss, friends or other forms of interaction, you have to be more tactful and remain sensitive to your relationship building skills. Fortunately, there are 5 of such important steps to make our communication so much better in our relationships and interactions.

The steps are:

Step 1: Consider the other party’s position first.

Step 2: Understand how the way you communicate your viewpoints can affect that person and your relationship.

Step 3: Seek to bridge the gap between both perceptions by establishing the common purposes.

Step 4: Practice saying those sentences to yourself before you talk in person. Ensure they come across acceptable.

Step 5: Check for mutual understanding and appreciation during the communication process.

Remember, Communicate Well, Make Your Relationship Excel!

(Source: wekie.com)

Exploring The Essence Of What It Truly Means To Be A Befriender

December 6, 2008

As Day 2 of the double Sunday Befrienders’ Training last week came to an end, some participants lingered on. We managed to discuss on the real life issues that faced the client’s families. These are not merely misunderstanding but real cumbersome problems that plagued these families and existed for a long time.

Being a Befriender implies that one ought to be ready to serve that special friend for the troubled person. Your presence could sometimes make the difference between the family’s hope and despair. You bring the hope, the comfort and the possibilities of a brighter outlook to their own future.

The following essential points thus become crucial for the Befriender:

1. The key to being a Befriender is Trust. And you will be entrusted with many untold information divulged by the family you befriend.

2. You have to balance the Ethics issue with your Integrity as a Befriender.

3. Your perspective of life is called into challenge. Be steadfast but receptive to other lifestyles that exist for your befriending family.

4. You should help the family prepare for a life after you. Guide them as a friend to help themselves live better on their own.

5. Both of you are eventually transformed, enriched and empowered in the process. It’s not only that the family gets better; it also becomes your personal reflection to appreciate life.

(Source: wekie.com)

What Coaches Should Do When Faced With Difficult Clients

November 30, 2008

When I finished conducting the 2 day course on “Coaching Skills for Leaders” on Monday and Tuesday last week, I took a few moments to recap and reflect on what I had taught. In addition, it was also a reminder to how coaching is so much needed at the workplace. We often find ourselves in tight spots with the changing pace of workplace challenges. Yet we don’t always get the necessary help or advice when needed.

In your role as a coach at work, you want to understand that this is a reflection of the client’s lifestyle. His perspectives of life are hence displayed thru his actions and thoughts. If uncontrolled, emotional outburst will be experienced.

Here are some pointers you should follow if your client takes a sudden turn to become difficult:

1. Repeat your agreement and ground rules.

2. Reaffirm your intention with taking on this coaching assignment

3. Reassure that you are working for his benefit.

4. Review your coaching style and sequence.

5. Relate what works for him.

6. Rebuild your rapport.

7. Reestablish your goals and end results of coaching.

8. Remind your client that no one cares more for his own life than himself, hence he is ultimately accountable for his own success, not you.

(Source: wekie.com)

The 5 Key Dynamics You Must Pay Attention To When You Communicate And Solve Problems With Your Team

November 17, 2008

A quick check with my schedule indicated that the past few days were absolutely packed with various trainings. The pace of living a life as a public speaker, trainer and consultant has picked up tremendously over the years. To me, this is somewhat a sign of the growing need and recognition for Professional Excellence trainings, speaking engagements and personal consultations as well as an increase in the participants’ willingness to upgrade themselves.

No longer is it possible to just be contented with fundamental technical skills, the soft skills aspects are now the essentials. It’s not just the norm, but it’s so necessary that even companies are demanding that their staffs know how to build better relationships with quality communication. This is even more so when problems abound at work, and, to a fair degree, exist in their personal lives.

Hence just 2 days ago, on Saturday, I completed Day 2 of the “Communication and Problem Solving for Leaders” training. In this customized in-house workshop for that multi-national cooperation, I explored with the leader-participations the range of key dynamics in leading people via effective communication, resulting in better ways to solve work problems and issues.

I also made sure that these learning points were easy and quick to apply with fast results. When the participants gave their input, I was highly delighted when they integrated the communication concepts into their demonstrations.

Taking it further, some of the key dynamics that you must pay attention to whenever you are communicating with your team to solve problems include:

1. The Agreement on the values and ultimate outcome or objectives of the project.

2. The Acceptance of the ground rules during the exploration of the issues and the discussion of the problems.

3. The Understanding of the flow of the problem solving model and process.

4. The Willingness to suspend personal biasness and let go of the limitations in perceptions.

5. The Intention to cooperate with each other in working towards resolving the problems.

(Source: wekie.com)

5 Relevant Reframes To Help You Reframe Your Problems

November 1, 2008

One of the most common encounters I have in my trainings is that I get asked with regard to how to solve problems. And these problems placed before me range from work-place issues, career conflicts, personal motivation blockages, social and romantic relationship queries, marital concerns, life threatening obstacles and the likes. It’s always refreshing and an useful brain exercise in quick thinking to guide them in reframing these problems.

Yesterday’s training “Reframing Problems Into Opportunities” dealt specifically with resolving problems itself. The participants opened up to share and we take another look into how problems can be perceived differently. Lots of interesting cases were thrown up, examined, diagnosed and possible future were presented to them. It was most mentally stimulating indeed.

Hence, here are some of the relevant reframes we discussed. When employed, they will enable you to better reframe your problems.

1. Everything you read, encounter and experience is an attempt at reframing the problems in your life.

2. See them as issues and situations, rather than as problems.

3. Understand that for every issue, there are at least 2 sides of the coins.

4. You can choose, if you choose to. Therefore, choose to choose first.

5. The key lies in the solutions you have, not the problems you are having.

(Just a quick point to add: If the problems in your life get too overwhelming or unbearable, please get a coach or mentor now. Talk to him or her immediately. Time is of the essence.)

(Source: wekie.com)

5 Truths You Must Know About Winning The Inner Game OF Negotiation And Deals Making

October 18, 2008

Yesterday saw the completion of the 2 day Negotiation and Conflict Resolution training for a very popular multi-national corporation. I’ve always enjoyed conducting such trainings and handling the questions because they are usually challenging, tough yet so prevalent in our lives.

It’s never an easy task especially when negotiation skills seem to be needed almost at every turn and nearly every facade of our life. This requires us to raise our game of bargaining to a much higher level, especially for the ambitious. For it is through negotiation that many productive and profitable deals can be made. Progress is therefore dependent on your bargaining success.

To set you on a winning negotiation advantage, you’ve have to know the truth in playing the inner game:

1. Negotiation is a test of your mental strength and dexterity.

2. Negotiation requires you to compete on thinking speed and pushes creativity limits.

3. You have to possess superior sensory awareness and acuity to win the game.

4. Negotiation demands of you to attain emotional balance.

5. The one who can exercise greater linguistic fluency wins the game.

(Source: wekie.com)

When Your Negotiation Gets Tougher: 5 Ways To Turn The Tables In Your Favor

October 12, 2008

Two days ago, I wrapped up another session of the very rigorous “Effective Negotiation Skills” training. This training on Negotiation directly addresses the urgent needs of today’s working professionals regarding their personal lives and work careers. Checking on my schedule and bookings, there are already more runs of Negotiation training on the cards in the coming weeks.

It is often likely that the negotiation and the flow of communication will get tougher before it gets better. In this case, fret not. (You better fret not.)

Here are some of the ways to turn the tables in your favor:

1. Always remain steadfast whenever the situation gets tougher.

2. Clear your mind of negativity. You cannot afford to have these thoughts at all, certainly not at this moment.

3. Listen out for the incongruence in the other party’s communication. These provide clues to the ‘cracks’ on their stand.

4. Highlight to increase or decrease their values as your bargaining chips. The more of such ‘chips’ you have, the better your position is.

5. Get the firm assurance and commitment. A nodding of head will not suffice.

(Source: wekie.com)

5 Ways To Increase Your Leadership Emotional Intelligence

September 16, 2008

If you are a manager, director, supervisor and the similar titles, you will be in a position to exert your leadership over your team. However, just being in this position does not immediately entitle you to become a respected leader. You’ve got to demonstrate high level of emotional intelligence in leading, facilitating and influencing your members.

At today’s training on “Emotional Intelligence at Work For Leaders”, I explored in greater details what does it mean to have better emotional intelligence as a leader. Plenty of real-life examples and scenarios were brought out for discussions. In addition, I shared with my participants the practical yet simple strategies to apply at their workplace.

I was also very pleased that the leader-participants were interactive and contributed to the discussions as well as derive further learning. It’s my pleasure and honor indeed to be serving them as their trainer. I wish them the very best in their leadership and management journey.

Adding on, here are more ways you can increase your leadership emotional intelligence:

1. Have an in-depth understanding of your personal leadership styles and tendencies

2. Understand that your own leadership has it own strengths and weaknesses. Find out what they are and work on them conscientiously.

3. Be comfortable at confronting tough leadership situations and decision making under crisis.

4. Display artful tact, empathy and diplomacy when handling conflicts and sensitivity, especially with difficult people.

5. Discover how you can appreciate your team members, staffs and subordinates in different and sincere manners.

How You Can Build Better Communities? 8 Steps For Effective Policy Implementation To The Masses

September 5, 2008

It was an extremely busy time for me yesterday. As a trainer, I was concluding Day 2 of the “Building Communities” training and was rushing afterwards to another venue to begin the private evening seminar on “What Men Want”. That made for a fast-paced day, fully enriching and exciting.

As discussed in my training, policies are there to ensure things get on to whatever goals the management wants to achieve. They are critical to how the future can progress. Be it in managing a club, a community, a town, a nation-country, global region or even for worldwide use, policies are there to keep things running in the intended direction. Challenging as it might be at times, they are essential. Hence the training for the past 2 days on “Building Communities” was designed to address this issue, ease the transitions and handle other situations that might arise.

Whenever you want to implement a certain policy to a large group of people, you can further make use of the following 8 steps:

Step #1: Study the ground’s feeling first by setting up the survey systems.

Step #2: Derive an understanding of the cultures and the people who will be affected by your policies.

Step #3: Decide on two levels of perspectives: The short term and the long term. (You may find that sometimes one contradicts another.) You have to make the call on which position to take.

Step #4: Establish bridges and connections with the communities that will be affected. Inform everybody about these bridges.

Step #5: Keep the communication channels flowing back and forth as events and policies evolve.

Step #6: Craft the proper promotion strategy and branding process.

Step #7: Monitor the situation for minor fine-tuning yet ensuring the main plan is being adhere to.

Step #8: Remain vigilant in responding to any changes and be the listening ear for the communities.

Whenever usefully policies are effective implemented, the benefits to the communities are tremendous. Hence, the artful application of the above steps will make your management impressive and the outcome Excel Beyond Excellence!