The Art Of Making Your Mentorship Meaningful

It was early this week that I met up with my various Mentees. I’ve always enjoyed such meetings because this offers an opportunity to catch up as well as speak up on the different issues faced, both in communication and in life.

Upon reflection and recollection of my mentorship workshops, I took greater strides to apply some of the concepts into my mentoring style. Because of the different personalities and experience you’ll come to face with from others, the mentorship relationship becomes ever evolving. That’s why mentoring is an art in itself.

When you employ the strategy and tools of mentorship, you effectively put in gear the cycle of change. It takes tact in communication and sensitivity in implementation. Very much have to be tied down and set up between the two of you, be it you being the mentor or the mentee.

I suggest employing the art of creating a “Meaningful Mentorship” by paying attention to the following pointers:

For Mentors:

1. Inculcate the spirit of sharing for the two of you.

2. Understand that learning is two-way. While your mentee learns from you, so can you learn.

3. Create a culture of mutual communication for trust and reliability.

For Mentees:

1. Know what makes your mentor tick so that you know how to maximize his accomplishments.

2. Ask the right questions to get the best practices.

3. Respect and show appreciation to your mentor. When you show appreciation, your mentor feels appreciated and is willing to support you further, giving more in the process.

(Source: wekie.com)

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Top 5 Mistakes Managers Make When Leading Their Teams in Problem Solving

Over the past few Saturdays, I had been conducting a series of trainings for the management team of a multi-national corporation. In this training, “Communication and Problem Solving Skills for Leaders”, I focused on getting the leaders in the company to be able to converse well and lead their team to solve various work and life problems.

Of course, as we all know, life is never a piece of cake nor a walk in the park. What’s never ending are the problems, obstacles and issues that crop up now and then. Some are within anticipation, while others hid themselves to sting as the most unexpected moment.

Many managers and leaders were thus left in the dark or at a loss of what to do.

Hence, for this particular article, I would like to highlight on 5 of the most common mistakes that were made when the team is being led to resolve the problems. It will obviously be wise to steer clear of them and they serve as a reminder to avoid committing them.

These top 5 mistakes made by managers are:

1. The manager does not know the problems and he is unable to define them well.

2. The manager has no clear resolution steps formulated with the team.

3. The manager allows the presence of internal bickering and too much politicking.

4. The manager has tasks allocated to the wrong person.

5. The manager has overly unrealistic demands without fair consideration.

(Source: wekie.com)

5 Important Steps To Super-Charge Your Relationship Communication In Life

It was just a few nights ago where the evening newspaper, Lian He Wan Bao, published my advice on the headlines and the inner page. I was engaged by the organizers because of my expertise in relationship communication and my experience in coaching different people.

Based on what the reporter had observed, I was being interviewed and shared some practical tips on how people can improve their relationships with each other.

As a Professional Excellence speaker and trainer, I am passionately interested to see people communicate better, build quality relationships, eventually be competent in all the Professional Excellence skills and ultimately excel beyond in various aspects of their lives.

Indeed, we must start to consider how the world has changed and evolved. It’s through our self-reflection and mutual consideration that we can discover enhanced ways to relate with one another.

Be it with colleagues, parent and child, staff and boss, friends or other forms of interaction, you have to be more tactful and remain sensitive to your relationship building skills. Fortunately, there are 5 of such important steps to make our communication so much better in our relationships and interactions.

The steps are:

Step 1: Consider the other party’s position first.

Step 2: Understand how the way you communicate your viewpoints can affect that person and your relationship.

Step 3: Seek to bridge the gap between both perceptions by establishing the common purposes.

Step 4: Practice saying those sentences to yourself before you talk in person. Ensure they come across acceptable.

Step 5: Check for mutual understanding and appreciation during the communication process.

Remember, Communicate Well, Make Your Relationship Excel!

(Source: wekie.com)

Exploring The Essence Of What It Truly Means To Be A Befriender

As Day 2 of the double Sunday Befrienders’ Training last week came to an end, some participants lingered on. We managed to discuss on the real life issues that faced the client’s families. These are not merely misunderstanding but real cumbersome problems that plagued these families and existed for a long time.

Being a Befriender implies that one ought to be ready to serve that special friend for the troubled person. Your presence could sometimes make the difference between the family’s hope and despair. You bring the hope, the comfort and the possibilities of a brighter outlook to their own future.

The following essential points thus become crucial for the Befriender:

1. The key to being a Befriender is Trust. And you will be entrusted with many untold information divulged by the family you befriend.

2. You have to balance the Ethics issue with your Integrity as a Befriender.

3. Your perspective of life is called into challenge. Be steadfast but receptive to other lifestyles that exist for your befriending family.

4. You should help the family prepare for a life after you. Guide them as a friend to help themselves live better on their own.

5. Both of you are eventually transformed, enriched and empowered in the process. It’s not only that the family gets better; it also becomes your personal reflection to appreciate life.

(Source: wekie.com)

What Coaches Should Do When Faced With Difficult Clients

When I finished conducting the 2 day course on “Coaching Skills for Leaders” on Monday and Tuesday last week, I took a few moments to recap and reflect on what I had taught. In addition, it was also a reminder to how coaching is so much needed at the workplace. We often find ourselves in tight spots with the changing pace of workplace challenges. Yet we don’t always get the necessary help or advice when needed.

In your role as a coach at work, you want to understand that this is a reflection of the client’s lifestyle. His perspectives of life are hence displayed thru his actions and thoughts. If uncontrolled, emotional outburst will be experienced.

Here are some pointers you should follow if your client takes a sudden turn to become difficult:

1. Repeat your agreement and ground rules.

2. Reaffirm your intention with taking on this coaching assignment

3. Reassure that you are working for his benefit.

4. Review your coaching style and sequence.

5. Relate what works for him.

6. Rebuild your rapport.

7. Reestablish your goals and end results of coaching.

8. Remind your client that no one cares more for his own life than himself, hence he is ultimately accountable for his own success, not you.

(Source: wekie.com)

5 Relevant Reframes To Help You Reframe Your Problems

One of the most common encounters I have in my trainings is that I get asked with regard to how to solve problems. And these problems placed before me range from work-place issues, career conflicts, personal motivation blockages, social and romantic relationship queries, marital concerns, life threatening obstacles and the likes. It’s always refreshing and an useful brain exercise in quick thinking to guide them in reframing these problems.

Yesterday’s training “Reframing Problems Into Opportunities” dealt specifically with resolving problems itself. The participants opened up to share and we take another look into how problems can be perceived differently. Lots of interesting cases were thrown up, examined, diagnosed and possible future were presented to them. It was most mentally stimulating indeed.

Hence, here are some of the relevant reframes we discussed. When employed, they will enable you to better reframe your problems.

1. Everything you read, encounter and experience is an attempt at reframing the problems in your life.

2. See them as issues and situations, rather than as problems.

3. Understand that for every issue, there are at least 2 sides of the coins.

4. You can choose, if you choose to. Therefore, choose to choose first.

5. The key lies in the solutions you have, not the problems you are having.

(Just a quick point to add: If the problems in your life get too overwhelming or unbearable, please get a coach or mentor now. Talk to him or her immediately. Time is of the essence.)

(Source: wekie.com)

7 SHAREEE Ways To Create, Build And Sustain A Successful Mentoring Relationship

I was giving a talk tonight to the NUS Toastmasters about Mentoring. Over the months, the Club has managed to put together a more formalized Mentorship Program. The response tonight was overwhelming and the energy was extremely high. Kudos to the organizers for their efforts in bringing everyone, both the Mentors and Mentees, to the same place.

During my segment, I shared with the audience the 7 useful ways to create, build and sustain the relationship between Mentors and Mentees that will foster camaraderie. It’s a series of SHAREEE ways:

System. Have a system of contact and guidance, both agreeable between the mentor and the mentee.

Honesty. Be acceptable to frank opinions and be open to share constructive criticism.

Accessibility. You can’t build a relationship with an invisible man. Both of you will have to be somewhat accessibility and available to each other, to some reasonable degree.

Reflective. This enables you to reflect on your learning and progress as time passes, deepening the value of such a mentoring relationship

Empathy. Be in each other’s shoes to understand the inner motivations and causes of behaviours. This will enhance mutual appreciation of where the other party comes from.

Experienced. The Mentor will have to be experienced in guiding and providing suitable advice. The Mentee, on the other hand, will gain experience in being mentored the right way and benefit accordingly.

Excelling. Both of you must eventually grow in your own right and be excelling in your own designed dimensions. This becomes proves that your mentoring relationship is positive and has worked for you.

In short, you Excel Beyond Excellence!

Source: wekie.com

Now, Who’s Your Mentor? Exploring The Beauty Of Mentoring

Having been a Mentor to various individuals and certain organizations for years, I derived even greater insights than before on the essence of effective mentoring. This improvement concept does bring with it a myriad of benefits, and they are all beautiful benefits:

For the Mentee,

1. Mentoring shaves of years of unnecessary mistakes in the process, shortening the learning curve.

2. Mentoring brings to him the ‘insider’ and “behind the scene’ look at how the organizations and industry is like, really like.

3. Mentoring allows him to be specific in reducing his actual weaknesses and extending his strengths, giving him a more powerful advantage in whatever industry he is in.

For the Mentor,

4. Mentoring allows him to practice his leadership and coaching skills beyond where he is now.

5. Mentoring lets him play out and experiment different concepts of subjects that he already knew.

6. Mentoring brings to him a sense of satisfaction knowing that he has played a significant role in grooming and changing someone’s life for the better.

For the Organization,

7. Mentoring provides it a possible leadership and managerial succession plan and evolving line of command.

8. Mentoring allows the organization to discover hidden talents within the organization, with likelihood of greater loyalty from the individual.

9. Mentoring saves the organization money in retraining and orientating a total outsider and reduced wastage of resources.

Most of all,

10. Mentoring allows everybody to Excel Beyond Excellence!

8 ‘C’ Steps To Overcome Crisis in Your Life

In life, we do face that occasional crisis. For some, they occur once in a long while and to others, it seems to be a regular happening. From the departure of loved ones to the onslaught of health matters or even a major financial disaster, one might find these too much to bear. But bear, endure and preserve you must.

You might ask why do they arise? It’s a question that its beyond our human mind and comprehension. The mysterious setting of situations and the triggering of events demand that you understand the bigger picture of how everything works in this life. It’s a question that most social scientists, philosophers and the likes have debated over the millennium.

During the private coaching and counseling sessions, I’ve worked with a number of individuals facing such crisis and more. Recently I’ve counseled a friend who felt lost in the challenges of living and barely surviving in the storms of life. We worked through intensively on the issues and the paradigms begin this. And I’m extremely pleased to report that this friend-client of mine is now on the way to a much better and empowered lifestyle.

What then can one do when a crisis dawns, here are the 8 C steps to help you overcome the crisis:

1. Calm your emotions

2. Clear your mind

3. Craft out a resolution plan

4. Customize it to the specific situation

5. Clean out the cause of the crisis

6. Create the emotion of enthusiasm in your endeavor, no matter what.

7. Carry out your plan

8. Continue to see the possibilities and the positives

How You Can Help Your Clients To Excel. Discover The 7 Ways To Effective And Positive Befriending

Although it was Sunday today, I have total admiration for the Befrienders who were ever so committed and turned up for the full-day training. When I concluded the 2 weekend Befrienders’ Training, it dawned upon me that these participant were simply so willing to give of their time and effort to some families they hardly know. My respect and admiration for them grew even more.

As they proceed after today upon becoming functioning Befrienders, I urged them to keep working towards creating that goodness and perpetuating that willingness to improve. The effort, despite the challenges, will always be worthhile.

Further to this, here are more ways you can help your clients to excel in their lives through befriending them:

1. Understand the real problem that are hidden behind their communication

2. Check back with your own resources and support networks to ensure you can provide sufficient aid.

3. Don’t spoonfeed your client with no valid reasons, groom them to help themselves.

4. Keep the end results promise realistic and achieveable. Avoid over-raising expectations unnecessarily

5. Share your own success encounters, so that they may take heed and follow as example.

6. Draw them out by being an effective active and reactive listener.

7. Always brew the foundation of integrity and the element of trust. Friendship comes with trust.