5 Simple Steps To Better Emotional Management

It had almost been like clockwork for the past few days. I’ve been conducting one training after another, not to mention the personal coaching after the day-time training sessions. The schedule was packed, energy demanding, but highly satisfying.

During the training and personal sharing, the inner personalities of the participants emerge. They expressed different emotional thoughts and the varying body language become tell-tale signs of their feelings.

There are always times when we wish to acquire better and more purposeful emotions. Here are some of the steps that will enable you to do so:

1. Determine what your current emotion is.

2. Decide what your ideal emotion is.

3. Create a strong enough reason to have that intended emotion.

4. Immerse in that situation which produces this emotion.

5. Integrate yourself fully into this emotion.

(Source: wekie.com)

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How To Keep Your Mind Sane In The Face Of Financial Insanity?

Over these couple of weeks we keep hearing reports of people suffering from depression as a result of the world-wide financial turmoil. Indeed, there are such trying times where investors are caught off guard. The deep regrets and sense of loss over their depleted funds are indescribable.

In my recent personal coaching and consultations, there are several individuals who come to me as they have been experiencing this diabolical bout of depression and anxiety. They had difficulty geting over the loss of their hard-earned money.

Yet, no matter how bleak things may be. One must not lose their mind still. It’s the key thing you can depend on for now. This will hence demand from you a greater mental dexterity than before to tide over this uncertainty.

Do consider working on some of these ways to better enable a sane mind in the midst of these insane times:

1. Plan your day. Make it meaningful and live the day usefully.

2. Read from your favorite joke book. Better to take your mind into a world of joy than to go into the other extreme. Focus on the lighter side of life.

3. Meet your mentor. Have a talk with someone you respect and get some practical tips to handle crisis better.

4. Indulge in a new hobby. As you stay out of the market, why not take it as a time to do something you haven’t been getting down to? A new hobby will keep your life enriched.

5. Call a counseling hotline. Sharing with a stranger allows you to pour your hearts out. The trained counselor may just be the listening ear you need.

6. Work out your savings. Stay rational with your money management. You live to fight another day.

7. Meditate. Stay mentality calm. Peace out.

(Source: wekie.com)

Do Dedicated Parents Make Better Managers And Leaders?

Moving back to the work week, we see people hurrying to their office. The bulk of this workforce will consist of staffs and managers who are parents. Being parents usually signify the demand of time and energy to take care of their children. Hence, the direct questions is, do dedicated parents imply that they will become better managers or leaders?

In Today’s paper, Marian Ruderman, a director of the Center for Creative Leadership, certainly think so. She cited studies that conclude that family-focused workers can make better managers.

The following is her article on this issue:

Dedicated Parents, Better Mangers?

PARENTS across the country can now hold their heads high when heading out of the office to attend a teacher’s conference or coach a football game.

Being a committed parent can enhance managerial ability, according to a study by the Center for Creative Leadership and Clark University.

Child-rearing develops skills that are useful for work, the study found. Being able to manage the demands of raising children and running a household helps people better manage the stress of work instead of adding to it.

Family experiences provide managers with positive feeling that carry over to the workplace and facilitate performance.

They also help managers to develop the ability to see others’ views — a capacity that is critical to supervising others, working in teams or relating to superiors.

The study contradicts conventional wisdom that parents are easily distracted by their responsibilities at home, in particular their children, and are therefore more likely to be ineffective at work.

Published last year in the

Journal of Applied Psychology, the study shows for the first time how raising a family helps develop skills such as negotiating, compromising, conflict resolution and multi-tasking, which are important traits of successful managers.

The study has important implications for employees and organizations alike.

While many organizations have adopted family-friendly policies, most still operate under the assumption that a family focus will detract from performance.

But the research suggests this assumption is wrong. In fact, a family-focused manager may be the leader your company should have.

Life beyond Work

Life outside of work is important for both women and men — and their careers.

Investing time in family relationships, friendships, volunteer work and personal interests has been shown to enhance on-the job performance as well as psychological well-being.

Roles and responsibilities outside of work can serve as creative and supportive sources for learning how to be a more effective manager.

Off-the-job experiences help people to hone interpersonal skills, handle multiple tasks and develop the ability to draw on relevant background and information.

Regular exercise and effective leadership also go hand-in-hand.

Time invested in regular exercise, even if it means spending less time at work, is correlated with higher — not lower — ratings of leadership effectiveness.

Research suggests that leaders who exercise regularly are rated significantly higher by their bosses, peers and direct reports than non-exercisers. It seems a healthy lifestyle can help executives to better cope with the stresses and demands of their positions.

An organisation’s attitude towards employees’ life outside of work is a factor in retaining them. Whether they are raising young families, preparing for retirement, caring for elderly parents or pursuing personal interests, employees often feel their organisations forget that they have a life outside work. Organisations and leaders can help all generations navigate their need for work-life balance by: Clarifying priorities. People have trouble figuring out their priorities when everything at work is deemed urgent. They struggle to give higher priority to family time when work pressure does not ease up.

Realistic resourcing. People have too much work to be done during normal work hours, so they routinely put in extra hours.

The perception is that their organizations do not care enough about employees to bother resourcing the work appropriately.

Reducing stress. Extreme stress is one reason people leave their jobs or turn down interesting positions.

Some people feel forced to choose between an interesting or challenging job and the kind of life they want to lead.

Creating flexibility. A flexible schedule allows people with children to get more work done and yet enables them to be with their families.

For older people approaching retirement, offering this would be a convenient solution and a sign of the respect the organization has for its employees.

Grab It Before It Grabs You! 7 Key Steps To Get A Grip On Stress In Your Life.

It was another ultra packed and fast paced day for me yesterday. After wrapping up the 2 full days training on “Time and Stress Management” for a major statutory board, I sped unto the next venue to conduct the “What Women Want” seminar in the evening. Time was of the essence while I had to cover the contents of both these trainings and still move from one place to another in double quick time. What a “stressful” day… And I LOVED IT!!! 😀

Stress does occur in our lives. It is a respond to our characters, our attitudes and our lifestyles. The key difference lies in how you grabble with it, turning whatever is seemingly negative into a positive motivator in your life.

Here are the key steps to enable you to better assess your stress causing factor and grab it before it grabs you:

1. Find out what stresses you, the stressor.

2. Talk about it with some coach or mentor or simply someone you can trust who is positive. If there’s no one, talk to yourself.

3. Discover if there could be other inner causes that lead you to feel this way. Decide if it’s an integration of factors or an isolation of one.

4. Test out your respond to your own stress level by removing that stressor or those factors. How do you feel now?

5. Note down what changes occurred if you view that stressor differently? For example: giving it less importance, making it so overwhelming?

6. Commit to view it from a positive paradigm that you’ve developed and allow it to be a “push-motivational” factor from now on.

7. Adjust and re-adjust your lifestyle to work around that stressor.

How To Become An Effective Leader In Extreme Situations?

The tireless leader faces different challenges every single day. These challenges and issues range from the most mundane to the most critical of circumstances. Nonetheless, decisions have to be made, stands have to be taken and actions are to be implemented. This happens no matter how crucial and urgent the situation is. It’s all in a day’s work for the most ferocious of leaders.

A report in Today’s paper presented an interesting and insightful article that reflected this topic: On how can a leader face the most extreme situations. Lyndon Rego, an Innovation Incubator Director, espouses this responsibility of the leader, that he must face it and work it out, sometimes with bold moves.

Here are the details of his report:

How To Become An Effective Leader In Extreme Situations?

CRISIS, as anyone who has been through one would know, forces people to think and behave in new ways. Extreme crisis exponentially ratchets up that response.

Crisis response requires both planning and improvising. Planning and preparation helps enable rapid coordinated action. At the same time, plans are always insufficient.

A plan is a starting point, but every situation will involve something unexpected. Your logic and imagination cannot factor in every contingency. People need the capacity to read and understand a situation and improvise their approach as the reality unfolds.

Taking into account some of the lessons learnt by those who have faced extreme crisis can better prepare you for such situations.

SySteMS fail

Infrastructure, technology, alert mechanisms and communication may fail or be insufficient. Processes fall apart, leaving you in unfamiliar territory. The failures may be brief or long-lasting, confined or extensive. Ongoing or systemic problems, while manageable in routine circumstances, may be a serious problem in a crisis.

tHe picture iS diStorted

No one has a complete picture of what is happening. People on the outside may have a sense of the big picture but may lack accurate, detailed and critical information from within the crisis zone. In contrast, people in the middle of the crisis see what is in front of them but may be cut off from what is taking place elsewhere.

tiMe iS coMpreSSed

Moving forward or tackling a part of the problem may be risky in the absence of solid information, but doing nothing is not a choice. As the crisis evolves beyond the immediate, the time pressure eases, only to be replaced by the complex demands of a protracted crisis or recovery.

autHority iS liMited

A crisis can easily trump existing structures of authority. Whoever is “in charge” is whoever is there. If organizational protocols require strict adherence to command structure and approvals, they may hinder rapid and effective responses.

new leaderSHip eMergeS

A crisis will generate previously unexpected and unknown leadership capabilities. Individuals will step up to rescue or respond. New organizations and networks rise to provide aid and assistance.

preparing to face criSiS

How does an organization prepare people to do what it takes during a crisis? What is it that allows people to do extraordinary, unexpected things that are outside of their experience and training? When it comes to facing a crisis it is about your people and your leadership. It is about organizational culture.

Organizations and individuals will be better equipped for crisis (and daily operations) when executives and managers act and speak in ways that:

1. Forge relationships. Personal connections and good relationships are literally lifesavers in a crisis. Build quality relationships with a broad base of stakeholders before a crisis. Make it a priority to behave in ways that build trust in you and in the organization. Show respect for others and demand others to behave in ways that show respect, too.

2. Develop flexibility. Build a culture of flexibility and adaptability. Emphasize action-taking and good judgment.

3. Encourage courage. Show you are willing to stand up for the courage of your convictions.

4. Support risk-taking. People make mistakes; they will make mistakes during a crisis, too. Establish a culture that supports good-faith risk taking. When people act with integrity for the organization and the mission, the need to know they will not be penalized or made scapegoats.

5. Enable empowerment. Insist that local leaders make decisions based on the situations they face. Educate them and support them along the way. You cannot hold on to authority when times are good and then assume people will be empowered in a crisis.

Where Does Your Emotional Balance Begin?

It’s often that we face pressures and demands in our lives, from career, family and other situations that we participate in. We speak of the toils and the stress, the unfairness and injustice, the complainers and the negatives. And at times, there appears to be no way out of this spiraling emotional trap.

However, in various coaching and consultations that I conduct, we explored the ways to better attain a sense of emotional balance. While it’s not necessary an easy or simple task to overcome these, negative emotions can, nonetheless, still be managed.

Thus, in the effort to better attain a balance, where do all these management of emotion begin?

1. It begins from Your Willingness. You must be willing to take that step to want things to be better and to look at another paradigm. Without your willingness, any advice is futile. And that sole willingness must come from you.

2. It’s maintained by Your Willpower. You will be constantly bombarded with negative thoughts and some unhelpful emotions will flow back again. Hence, your willpower becomes your staying power for prolonged emotional balance.

3. It’s contained within Your Wisdom. How then can you decide how much is consider balance and what positive paradigm to operate from? This will depend on your wisdom to interprete and decipher the meanings behind how you feel. A coach will better help you fine-tune your emotional system but you must be the one to receive that ‘enlightenment’. It’s still your path after all.

Take time to work on these aspects of attainting your emotional balance. Strive persistently and you soon realize how an improvement of power emotions can help you to Excel Beyond Excellence!

7 Simple Steps To A More Positive Day

As we discussed the concepts over at yesterday’s “Emotional Intelligence at Work” training, many of my participants discovered the importance of having a more positive day. The constant living in negativity will cause vast deterioration of an individual over time. Therefore, we must all indeed be informed of the benefits to creating a better day.

In the midst of all the laughter and jokes we shared at the training, the message regarding applying our Emotional Quotient in life also came through vividly. It touched my heart to hear from them their renewed commitment to live an improved lifestyle.

Here are the simple steps you can take to have a more positive day:

1. Decide how you want your mood to be for the day.

2. Create strong enough reasons for your decision.

3. Stay away from potential emotional distractions.

4. Refuse to let negativity affect your choice emotion.

5. Focus on your tasks for the day.

6. Reward yourself positively for a job well done.

7. Review your day for better self-improvement.

There has never been a better time to begin taking these steps. After all, our emotions need recharging on the positive polarity too.

Wishing you a life where you Excel Beyond Excellence always!

Practical Ways To Prevent “Burn Out” In Your Life

Over these years of my training and consultation, I’ve worked with many people who admit that there had been times where they were on the verge of breaking down and burning out. These feelings of pushing beyond limits usually stem from the pressures of life and the high demands of oneself.

Listed below are some of the practical things you can do to prevent burn out from happening:

1. You must first insist that maintaining balance in your life is a priority.

2. If things get too stressed up, talk it out. Share with a current friend, a respected, trusted person.

3. There are always hotlines you can call up if you want to share or discuss anonymously. Some people do prefer relating to a neutral party or a stranger on the other line.

4. Make a new friend. You can also gain new perspectives as you communicate with that acquaintance. However, have a positive friend instead of one with negative emotional burden.

5. Practice instant relaxation of your physical muscles. Simple movements of swinging, swaying or stretching will do wonders too.

6. For emotional aspects, visualize the fulfillment of positive goals and enriching environment. Meditate on calmer thoughts.

7. Insist on cutting down certain demanding factors in your life.

8. Remember what keeps you on track in life. Review through your inner motivations. Hold on to these keys and allowing them to inspire you.

9. Learn to let go of the small things. To take it further, letting go of past major trespasses is an even greater virtue.

10. Allow the media to help you take your mind off. A funny movie coupled with cheerily music always cheers a person up.

Do take time to run through these ways, applying them as soon as you can and as often as possible. You’ll find that renewed vigor will spur you towards Excelling Beyond Excellence!

7 Key Things You Must Do To Effectively Maintain Your Work-Life Balance?

Two days ago, on Wednesday and Thursday, I was conducting another run of “Work-Life Skills for Individual and Organizational Benefits.” We discussed several real-life issues and the applications of what it means by getting balance in your work-life.

It was also extremely fun and entertaining when the participants shared about how they have been looking at their own life. And I proceeded on to further discuss the ways to resolve various issues and getting their lives in order and balance.

In a nutshell, here are also some key things that a person must work on to maintain better balance in their life:

1. Be informed of the upcoming trends in society. You can be better prepared for what is to come when you can sense the changes.

2. Understand that your happiness is first determined by your attitude and paradigm instead of the events and environment.

3. Nip negative stress before it traps you and rises beyond control. Convert that negativity into positive stress to spur you on.

4. Accept that changes will always occur instead of remaining the same always.

5. Reevaluate your expectations of yourself and others. Check that they are realistic within a reasonable time frame.

6. Embrace the spirit of life-long learning and improvement. There is no end to getting new knowledge and understand.

7. Keep yourself active in all areas. Get together with positive people at work and during your personal time. Do exercise regularly to stretch those lazy bones. Participate in some hobbies that you’ve always wanted.

At the end of it all, the quality of our life is what we make of it. Hence we must consistently strive to seek a better way to manage our lives, both at work and at home. For is it when we have master our life then can we further Excel Beyond Excellence!

When Does Your Mind Work Best? More Ways To Powerfully Master Your Mind

On last Saturday, things got exciting. The turn-up was overwhelming and the room was packed even till the last minute. The talk was “Mind Mastery: How to Power Up Your Speaking Skills with Your Mind”.

As the session began, I was greatly infused by your enthusiasm, generous participation and hearty laughter. Do remember the strategies and steps you learn and make it a regular point to practice them. As you have seen in the demonstrations, they work and these easy-to-do techniques perform marvelously well over time.

I truly consider this a great honor to be able to share with you what really works to become a better speaker and communicator. Credit goes to the organizers, Division B Governor, William Lim, DTM, and his team of assistants for earnestly helping to make this event a grand success. I deeply thank every one of you, the participants, for being at the event and taking the step to improve your life, your mind and your public speaking skills.

Over in this article, I will add on some more ways to powerfully master your mind.

Your mind works best when:

1. it is well rested.

2. it is relaxed.

3. you have a meaningful purpose for it to function.

4. it serves the right values.

5. you allow it to follow your natural biorhythm. (people are most alert at different times of the day)

6. it receives positive affirmations

7. you trust it and believes in it.

8. it is in full congruence with your heart and spirit.

9. it is accompanied by a healthy body

10. you thank it and reward it.

11. it is not abused or over taxed.

12. when you let it take on positive challenges.

Let us Excel Beyond Excellence!