Archive for the ‘Mind Mastery’ category

How To Apply Emotional Intelligence At Your Workplace?

March 1, 2009

Many trainings, coachings and meetings have taken place over the past few weeks. They come in at a faster pace than I can write about them. Fully packed weeks I must say. In my deepest of heart, I consider it a bonus being able to reach out to so many people within these few short weeks. And these are definitely the perks of being a public speaker and trainer. The honor is definitely mine.

One of the most intensive trainings I’ve conducted just a week ago was “Emotional Intelligence at Work” for a major government institution. Real issues were presented to me and I took the time to address them, knowing how my comments would affect the participants’ career and lives.

As they shared and generated more interest in human behavior at the workplace, I was impressed by how they could react with the concepts taught. Talk about accelerated learning. After all, when you put in heart into what you are doing, you couldn’t wait to make it work. That was what I witnessed.

When it comes to the workplace, emotions can fly. More often than not, bosses judge the staffs while customers always have to the right to complaint. You can’t underestimate the power of emotion. They will simply overwhelm you when you’re not in-charge of yourself.

Here are some ways you can apply better emotional intelligence to your work:

1. Respect emotions, the power of emotions.

2. Understand your emotions do and will affect others at work.

3. Commit to looking at the useful and productive side of the tasks.

4. Check yourself if your responses and motivations are driven by purposeful emotions.

5. Create a list of emotions that you want to display at work.

6. Insist on making yourself a positive influence with your colleagues.

7. Let yourself immerse in the joy of creative juice with your tasks.



7 Practical Ways To Increase Your Emotional Intelligence And Mental Dexterity

January 16, 2009

For these couple of weeks, I’ve been working on a number of courses that are coming up for the year. A significant time was also spent on customizing them to fit into clients’ demands. In addition, the training and coaching sessions have also be rather packed. A very fruitful start for this New Year indeed.

The past 3 days were spent conducting the highly intensive training on “Emotional Intelligence at Work”. As the training is customized for a major government institution, I highlighted specific examples where the participants could display Emotional Intelligence (EI) for themselves as well as in their daily dealings with their bosses, colleagues and customers (BCC). Through the sharing and discussions, I was extremely pleased to know that the participants found even more ways to apply emotional intelligence beyond what was taught. Now that’s empowerment for them!

Leading on, here are some of the practical things you can do to raise your Emotional Intelligence as well as the agility of your mind:

1. Appreciating others for the effort done in the projects, irregardless of the extend of the success.

2. Have daily greetings to your fellow colleagues, and mean what you say.

3. Think positively empowering thoughts and be solution-oriented to maintain your mental health.

4. Harness the quick learning from every task for future improvements.

5. Reflect on your own behavior and the outcome of your action.

6. Work on mending the differences with others instead of harboring animosity.

7. Give yourself a reason to arrive at work with enthusiastic energy each day.


The 5 Major Keys To Facilitating Ideas Effectively

December 14, 2008

When I completed training the government leaders on Facilitation Skills last week, I was pleased with how this useful skill would open up the mindset of many people. After all, what we are looking at is the regulation and facilitation of ideas, thoughts and opinions. And everyone will somewhat have certain level of viewpoint. Even choosing to not have an opinion is also an opinion.

What matters most the essence of getting these ideas out of the person’s mind, conjured and packaged into something useful, practical and applicable. While these are always subjective, they still contribute somewhat to the progress. All it takes is a shift in paradigm.

Hence, the following crucial keys will prove useful whenever you facilitate ideas and thoughts with your group:

1. Never discount the value of an idea without first putting it to fair examination of worthiness.

2. Create the safe, encouraging environment for sharing.

3. Realize that an idea need not stand alone. It can be combined and rehashed with other ideas.

4. Set the ground rules of interaction and ensure that everybody is on the same page.

5. Just because there are critiques to the idea does not imply that the idea is not workable.


Top 10 Reasons Why Your Brain “Malfunctions” Whenever You Need It To Work Most

November 3, 2008

You’ve been through this before. It was crunch time. Your future depended on it. Your happiness came down to this crucial moment. The turning point of your life beckoned. It’s make it or break it time, do or die…

Yet as you cleared your throat to speak, nothing came out. It’s not that you’ve lost your ability to articulate. But your mind just went blank. Nothing came out of your mouth. Try as you might, your brain simply refused to conjure up the next piece of sensible information. It went on strike, right on the dot.

And it couldn’t pick a better time; especially when you are attempting that 10-points examination question to graduate, bracing yourself for that love confession sentence which you’re dying to utter, and of course, the moments of awkward public speech silence. It was still on strike.

Yes, your brain left you to hang… high and dry.

And here’s why your precious brain decides to leave for a short tea-break or ‘vacation’ whenever you need it to report for work:

1. You don’t understand or know your own natural biorhythm. I call this your PPPs, “Peak Performance Period”.

2. You’ve yet to learn how to focus on what motivates. As a result you give in to distractions, internally and environmentally.

3. Your own physical body does not acquire the sufficient or suitable nutrition to keep your brain working healthily.

4. You don’t have the right motivation and driving desire to propel yourself.

5. The lack of energy and rest makes us too tired for intensive mental work.

6. You got overwhelmed by the tasks and challenges that face you. You felt too ‘microscopically and atomically small’ for such a gigantic glorious mission that might change the history of mankind and the surface of the earth.

7. Anxiety, worry, frustrations, fear took over your mind and imagination instead of you being relaxed. The stress you experienced made your mind went ‘blank’

8. It’s the result of poor thinking and working habits you’ve, intentionally or un-wittedly, adopted over the years.

9. You have yet to master your mind to a reasonable, applicable level. The techniques of mind mastery and brain power continue to lie undiscovered for you.

10. You’ve never “wanted it to work” in the first place. You saw the act as a need and as an obligation instead of an all-inspiring purpose. Hence it’s because of your attitude towards the work.


5 Simple Steps To Better Emotional Management

October 23, 2008

It had almost been like clockwork for the past few days. I’ve been conducting one training after another, not to mention the personal coaching after the day-time training sessions. The schedule was packed, energy demanding, but highly satisfying.

During the training and personal sharing, the inner personalities of the participants emerge. They expressed different emotional thoughts and the varying body language become tell-tale signs of their feelings.

There are always times when we wish to acquire better and more purposeful emotions. Here are some of the steps that will enable you to do so:

1. Determine what your current emotion is.

2. Decide what your ideal emotion is.

3. Create a strong enough reason to have that intended emotion.

4. Immerse in that situation which produces this emotion.

5. Integrate yourself fully into this emotion.


5 Truths You Must Know About Winning The Inner Game OF Negotiation And Deals Making

October 18, 2008

Yesterday saw the completion of the 2 day Negotiation and Conflict Resolution training for a very popular multi-national corporation. I’ve always enjoyed conducting such trainings and handling the questions because they are usually challenging, tough yet so prevalent in our lives.

It’s never an easy task especially when negotiation skills seem to be needed almost at every turn and nearly every facade of our life. This requires us to raise our game of bargaining to a much higher level, especially for the ambitious. For it is through negotiation that many productive and profitable deals can be made. Progress is therefore dependent on your bargaining success.

To set you on a winning negotiation advantage, you’ve have to know the truth in playing the inner game:

1. Negotiation is a test of your mental strength and dexterity.

2. Negotiation requires you to compete on thinking speed and pushes creativity limits.

3. You have to possess superior sensory awareness and acuity to win the game.

4. Negotiation demands of you to attain emotional balance.

5. The one who can exercise greater linguistic fluency wins the game.


How To Keep Your Mind Sane In The Face Of Financial Insanity?

October 13, 2008

Over these couple of weeks we keep hearing reports of people suffering from depression as a result of the world-wide financial turmoil. Indeed, there are such trying times where investors are caught off guard. The deep regrets and sense of loss over their depleted funds are indescribable.

In my recent personal coaching and consultations, there are several individuals who come to me as they have been experiencing this diabolical bout of depression and anxiety. They had difficulty geting over the loss of their hard-earned money.

Yet, no matter how bleak things may be. One must not lose their mind still. It’s the key thing you can depend on for now. This will hence demand from you a greater mental dexterity than before to tide over this uncertainty.

Do consider working on some of these ways to better enable a sane mind in the midst of these insane times:

1. Plan your day. Make it meaningful and live the day usefully.

2. Read from your favorite joke book. Better to take your mind into a world of joy than to go into the other extreme. Focus on the lighter side of life.

3. Meet your mentor. Have a talk with someone you respect and get some practical tips to handle crisis better.

4. Indulge in a new hobby. As you stay out of the market, why not take it as a time to do something you haven’t been getting down to? A new hobby will keep your life enriched.

5. Call a counseling hotline. Sharing with a stranger allows you to pour your hearts out. The trained counselor may just be the listening ear you need.

6. Work out your savings. Stay rational with your money management. You live to fight another day.

7. Meditate. Stay mentality calm. Peace out.


Why Must You Manage Your Emotions Excellently?

September 15, 2008

Today’s training was on “Emotional Intelligence at Work” for the staff of a major ministry in Singapore. We had lots of fun and intense discussions on managing their emotions, both at work and in life.

Here are some reasons why you must truly manage your emotions and make it excellent:

1. It’s an ongoing survival issue. Your emotions provide you the means to react and change in varying situations.

2. It helps in your relationship building process.

3. It matters on your happiness.

4. It generates fulfillment in your life.

5. It creates unity amongst like minded people.

The Formula For Success And Happiness

August 15, 2008

Every visit to a Club brings new learning and discovery. When I was at one of the Clubs that I am mentoring, the Nee Soon East Toastmasters last week, I realized that more new Toastmasters had joined us.

Sankar G. Vyakaranam, while being a new member, had shown unwavering enthusiasm in his journey to become a better speaker. I was impressed by his eloquence and suave mannerism in delivery. Definitely a competent presentor in the making.

He spoke on success and happiness, sharing with us a few tips in the process. And here are his wonderful and practical pointers:

The formula for success and happiness


A few years ago, I developed an interest in knowing my personality and improving it. I was also genuinely interested in finding out what is required to lead a successful and a happy life. With that as my motivation, I have read several personality development books in recent years. Some of the books that I’ve read include “The 7 habits of highly effective people”, “The 8th habit”, “The monk who sold his Ferrari”, “You can win”, “Stumbling on happiness” and “The seven spiritual laws of success”. While reading all these books, I was trying to figure out what is it that all these books are trying to teach? Is there a common pattern? a common message? What is the formula for success and happiness? And then sometime during this process, the answer dawned on to me. It was quite an eye opening experience because I felt that I discovered something very significant. Today I am going to share my discovery with you.

The formula for success and happiness is this – develop good habits and quit the bad ones.

It’s a very simple formula, but very, very powerful.

Now I am going to talk about what a habit is, what it takes to develop good habits and quit the bad ones, which habits should you develop, and some examples.

What is a habit?

A habit is simply anything that you do repeatedly. Your habits are actually part of your personality. In other words, your personality is made up of your habits. You cannot separate the habits from the personality. They are one and the same. For example, if you smoke regularly, you are a smoker. If you tend to put off or postpone doing things, then you are a procrastinator. And to take a positive example, if you have the habit of regularly setting goals and achieving them, then you are an achiever. There are two types of habits – physical and mental. Physical habits are habits such as reading, getting up early, exercising, etc and mental habits have to do more with your attitude and character. I’ve give some examples of my own habits later in the speech.

What does it take to develop good habits and quit the bad ones?

The answer to this question is also quite simple – it takes determination, hard work and self-discipline. It takes great effort really and it’s only fair that it should! After all, leading a successful and happy life cannot be easy, otherwise everyone would do it! There is a good analogy for the effort required to establish a good habit – it’s like putting a satellite into orbit. Initially, you require a great amount of force and energy, to thrust the Satellite into space, against gravity. But once the satellite reaches its orbit, it moves effortlessly. Inculcating a good habit is exactly like this – it initially requires a great deal of effort, but once a habit is established, you do it effortlessly.

Which habits should you develop?

This is where the different personality development books differ. Each author recommends a different set of habits. What I’ve realized is that there is no ‘special list’ or ‘master list’ of habits that one MUST develop. In fact the list of good habits is quite long, almost unlimited which is exactly why we have so many personality development books! My suggestion on which habits to develop is this – each of us must introspect and then a) identify our bad habits that we want to quit and b) figure out the good habits we want to inculcate, based on our own goals and priorities. Reading the personality development books does help as it exposes us to the various good habits that some smart people have identified, and the books go on to explain the benefits of the habits they recommend. But even if you don’t read these books, you should be able apply the formula based on your own analysis and common sense.

My own examples:

I’ll share with you a couple habits that I have consciously worked on and developed. Now they are a part of my personality and I benefit from them every day.

One physical habit I’ve developed is this – I don’t watch TV program. On an average, I watch TV programs for less than an hour per week. This is an important habit to me as I believe that watching TV is a waste of time.

Mental habits are harder to develop. A mental habit that I’ve developed is this – I don’t judge people. I think a lot of relationship problems amongst friends and family members can be avoided if we inculcate this powerful habit. The way I look at is, who am I to judge you? Why should I judge you? I am not a judge! Plus I realize that people always feel that they are right and justified in their thoughts, feelings and actions. So, my goal is to understand and not judge the other person. Note that any form of bias or prejudice is nothing but a form of judgment.


To conclude, today I shared with you my formula for success and happiness – develop good habits and quit the bad ones.

The formula makes sense if you think about it – the best investment which will yield life long returns is in yourself. A good habit is a like a good investment and a bad habit is like a bad investment. Interestingly, I’ve later found that this discovery of mine about habits is nothing new. In fact, it’s age-old wisdom. Aristotle said “we are what we do repeatedly.” And Swami Vivekananda said “Character is repeated habits.” And when I read such quotes, I feel reassured that my thinking is correct, my formula is correct, and that I am on the right path.

Where Does Your Emotional Balance Begin?

July 19, 2008

It’s often that we face pressures and demands in our lives, from career, family and other situations that we participate in. We speak of the toils and the stress, the unfairness and injustice, the complainers and the negatives. And at times, there appears to be no way out of this spiraling emotional trap.

However, in various coaching and consultations that I conduct, we explored the ways to better attain a sense of emotional balance. While it’s not necessary an easy or simple task to overcome these, negative emotions can, nonetheless, still be managed.

Thus, in the effort to better attain a balance, where do all these management of emotion begin?

1. It begins from Your Willingness. You must be willing to take that step to want things to be better and to look at another paradigm. Without your willingness, any advice is futile. And that sole willingness must come from you.

2. It’s maintained by Your Willpower. You will be constantly bombarded with negative thoughts and some unhelpful emotions will flow back again. Hence, your willpower becomes your staying power for prolonged emotional balance.

3. It’s contained within Your Wisdom. How then can you decide how much is consider balance and what positive paradigm to operate from? This will depend on your wisdom to interprete and decipher the meanings behind how you feel. A coach will better help you fine-tune your emotional system but you must be the one to receive that ‘enlightenment’. It’s still your path after all.

Take time to work on these aspects of attainting your emotional balance. Strive persistently and you soon realize how an improvement of power emotions can help you to Excel Beyond Excellence!